TITLE: Angels AUTHOR: Agent X EMAIL ADDRESS: aussie_xphile25@yahoo.com.au DISTRIBUTION: anywhere, just let me know CLASSIFICATION: V, A, post-ep KEYWORDS: Scully, Doggett, Luke Doggett SPOILER WARNING: Invocation, minor season 8 in general RATING: PG-13 SUMMARY: Invocation alternate ending and post-ep DISCLAIMER: The wonderful characters in this story are the property of the genius Chris Carter, 1013 and Fox FEEDBACK: Yes please, good or bad, to the above address DEDICATION: As always, this story is entirely dedicated to the wonderful Robert Patrick, who has inspired me to write this by bringing the character of John Doggett to life! And also to spookycc - the best post-ep writers around! AUTHOR'S NOTES: To any DoggettHaters who are thinking of flaming me for this - don't waste. Constructive criticism is very welcome, but flames will only serve as entertainment for my fellow SHODDS and inspiration to write more! Thanks spookycc for the beta work * * * Angels 9.37 pm Doggett and Scully were sitting in the car outside the UnderwoodÕs home when Ronnie Purnell pulled up across the street. ÒHey,Ó said Doggett. ÒWhat the hell is he doing here?Ó Doggett got out of the car and went over to where Ronnie was parked. Ronnie didnÕt see him approaching because he was transfixed to the little boy who was supposed to be dead, and who was now sitting in the car next to him. ÒGet away from me!Ó Ronnie cried. He was startled when Doggett knocked on the window of the car. Then Doggett saw Billy. ÒWhat the hellÉÓ Doggett said. ÒRonnie, get him out of there.Ó Ronnie gunned the engine of the car and took off down the street. ÒAgent Scully!Ó yelled Doggett, running back to the car. She turned the car around, picked him up and they headed in the direction Ronnie went. They lost sight of the other car for a few minutes. ÒThere he is!Ó Scully exclaimed suddenly. They saw the car's tail lights heading into the woods just out of town. They followed. A short time later they found the other car abandoned in a clearing just off the road. They got out of their own car, flashlights in hand. Doggett started scanning the ground for tracks. Suddenly they heard a single gunshot, close enough to leave their ears ringing from the sound. ÒBilly!Ó Doggett shouted, drawing his gun, and took off in the direction of the sound. ÒAgent Doggett, wait!Ó called Scully. When he didnÕt answer, she cursed and ran in the direction he had disappeared. Agent Doggett ran blindly through the woods, searching for any sign of Ronnie or Billy. He had to find BillyÉ he had to get to him before it was too late. He stopped for a moment to catch his breath and get his bearings. He heard a stick breaking just behind him and spun around to come face to face with the barrel of a gun. Ronnie cocked the gun and motioned for Doggett to be quiet. ÒThrow your gun on the ground,Ó Ronnie said quietly. Doggett did so. Shit, he thought, where the hell is Scully? ÒLook Ronnie,Ó Doggett said carefully. ÒWe just want to know where Billy is and what is going on here. No one has to get hurt.Ó Ronnie was getting agitated. ÒBilly? I donÕt know where he is, man! I know where I buried him, 10 years ago, but I sure as hell donÕt know what happened after that.Ó Doggett turned to face Ronnie again, aware of the gun still pointed at him. ÒAre you saying you killed Billy, 10 years ago?Ó ÒThatÕs what IÕm saying, man. And now heÕs back. HeÕs back to get me.Ó RonnieÕs aim wavered as he made sure no one was sneaking up behind him. Doggett seized the opportunity and threw himself at Ronnie, knocking them both to the ground. He grabbed for the gun. Ronnie might have been smaller than Doggett, but he was strong. He wrestled the gun out of DoggettÕs grip, while at the same time hitting him in the face with the barrel. Stars swam in Doggett's vision and before he could react Ronnie was standing over him, pointing the gun at his head. ÒOh, man, you really shouldnÕt have done that,Ó he said menacingly. Doggett swore under his breath as Ronnie continued. ÒYou see, IÕve told you that I killed Billy, but I donÕt want to go to jail, so now IÕm gonna have to kill you, too.Ó Doggett closed his eyes at the sound of the hammer being pulled back. ItÕs finally over, he thought. IÕm on my way. The sound of the gunshot brought him back to reality. He opened his eyes, wondering why he felt no pain. Ronnie was sprawled on his back, eyes wide, smoking gun still in his hand and a bullet wound in the centre of his forehead. ÒAgent Doggett?Ó He heard his partner's frantic cries somewhere nearby. ÒAgent Scully,Õ he called. ÒOver here.Ó She came running into the clearing and stopped short at seeing Ronnie on the ground. ÒWhat happened?Ó she asked breathlessly. ÒI donÕt know,Ó Doggett said. ÒHe had me on the ground saying he was going to kill me. I closed my eyes and the next minute I heard the shot and he was lying on the ground.Ó Scully walked over to Ronnie and picked up the gun, inspecting it. ÒLook, Agent Doggett.Ó She held up the gun for him to see. The whole top of the barrel was missing. ÒThe gun misfired,Ó she said. Doggett took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. ÒHe confessed to killing Billy, Agent ScullyÉ ten years ago.Ó Scully looked at him with a shocked expression. ÒHowÉ then whoÉ who was that little boy?Ó ÒI donÕt know, Agent Scully. The only thing I know is that we have to go back to the UnderwoodÕs and tell them their son is really dead.Ó * * * 11.21 am The next day A knock on the door was the last thing Doggett wanted. He knew it would be her and he knew what she wanted. He just wasnÕt ready for it. Another knock came, more urgent, more persistent. He shut his eyes, thinking that if he ignored her, she would go away. He heard her open the door. Damn, he thought, forgot to lock it. He didnÕt open his eyes or get up as she walked cautiously into the room. He could feel her standing next to him, watching him, wondering what to do. He felt a hand on his shoulder. ÒAgent Doggett?Ó she asked softly. He opened his eyes then and wished he hadnÕt. The look of concern in her blue eyes made them even wider and rounder than usual. God, he loved those eyes. ÒAgent Scully. What are you doing here?Ó He sat up slowly. ÒIÉ uhÉ your door was open so IÉÓ He cut her off. ÒI donÕt mean that. Why did you come here? What do you want?Ó She sat down on the couch next to him. ÒI want to know what was going on with you these last few days, with this case.Ó As much as he just wanted to let it all spill out, he couldnÕt. ÒNothing was the matter. I was just a little tired, thatÕs all.Ó Scully sighed. ÒCome on, Agent Doggett, you know thatÕs not true. Something in this case was bothering you and I think, as your partner, I have a right to know what it is.Ó He got angry. ÒLook Agent Scully. IÕm sorry IÕm not Agent Mulder and I know how you feel about having me as a partner. And even if there was something wrong, the last thing I am going to do is confide in someone who can hardly stand being in the same room as me, let alone consider me her partner.Ó He stopped and turned away from her. He knew he had gone too far, but he was sick of being treated like shit by the woman who called herself his partner. He waited for her to say something, or to get up and leave; preferably the latter. When she didnÕt say anything for a few minutes, he opened his eyes, thinking she may have left without him hearing her. When he saw her still sitting next to him with her head in her hands, he didnÕt know what to say. When she raised her head, her eyes were glistening with unshed tears. ÒShit,Ó He muttered to himself. ÒAgent Scully IÕm sorry. I didnÕt meanÉÕ She cut him off, on the verge of tears. ÒNo! ItÕs not you who should be sorry. From the moment I met you, youÕve done nothing but try to help me find Mulder. YouÕve given up your chance at the Directorship to be my partner on the X-Files, and youÕve watched my back without question. So what do I do in return? I treat you like absolute shit. I act as if you donÕt exist, when in actual fact you are the best partner anyone could ever hope for. I was just so determined to find Mulder that I couldnÕt handle anyone else being my partner. I hated Mulder for disappearing, but because you were there I took that hate out on you!Ó ÒAgent Scully,Ó he began. ÒYou donÕt have to explain yourself to me. I am as much to blame for our misunderstandings as you are. I guess I held you at arm's length, because of Mulder, because of the X-Files, but mostly because thatÕs who I am. If I get too involved in things, they take over my life and IÉ that happened once before andÉÓ He trailed off, uncomfortable with where the conversation was leading. She looked at him expectantly, sensing there was something he wasnÕt telling her. There was a lump in his throat that wouldnÕt go away. He cleared his throat. ÒLook, I understand what youÕre going through. I really do.Ó She looked up at him with a tinge of curiosity. Here we go , he thought, sheÕs put two and two together. ÒYou understandÉ this caseÉ thatÕs why you were acting strangely. Like the woman said, youÕve lost someone like Billy, havenÕt you?Ó He sighed and handed her a tissue. ÒI guess I better tell you the whole story, huh?Ó She nodded with a small smile. ÒIÕd like that.Ó ÒIÕve always been dedicated to my work. Even when I was at school, I was a perfectionist. Everything had to be right. I guess it paid off in the end cos I have a job that I like and IÕm good at, but I paid the priceÉ I sure paid the price.Ó ÒFourteen years ago I had the perfect life. I had a good job and I was married to a wonderful womanÉÓ He saw ScullyÕs look of surprise, but continued anyway. ÒÉ I came home from work one day and Miriam told me she was pregnant. It was a shock at first, but we were both so excited! We were gonna be parents. Nine months later she gave birth to our baby son, Luke. If I had thought my life was perfect before, it was even better now. Miriam and I loved each other very much and we loved Luke more than anything. We thought we had the perfect lifeÉÓ He trailed off, took a deep breath and continued. ÒIn 1994, when Luke was 7, I was a Detective with the NYPD. There was a case of serial kidnapping in the greater New York area and I was assigned to the case. I worked night and day, determined to find the kidnapper (and possible killer) before he struck again. That was after the fourth victim disappeared. By the time the eighth kid had gone, I was losing hope that weÕd ever find the kids again. I was working around the clock, sleeping in my chair at the office, going home for maybe an hour a day, if that. At about 9.30 one morning, the phone rang. It was Miriam and she was frantic. The school had phoned her to say Luke had not arrived. The school was only a few streets away from our house, so he and his friends walked every morning. Luke had been late so he walked alone that morning. Miriam had phoned the local police, who said they couldnÕt do anything until heÕd been missing for 24 hours.Ó He stopped again. Scully was sitting facing him, eyes wide, her hand over her mouth. ÒMy God,Ó she whispered. ÒWhat happened?Ó ÒThe night before this happened, I got home around 11.30. Luke was already asleep so I crept in and kissed him on the forehead. That was the last time I ever saw my sonÉaliveÉÓ He turned away from her, his voice breaking. He slammed his eyes shut in an effort to stop the tears that were threatening to spill over his cheeks. All of a sudden he felt two small hands on his shoulders, followed by ScullyÕs head resting against his back. ÒJohn,Ó she whispered. ÒIÕm so sorry.Ó He sat there for a moment before he became aware of her rubbing his shoulders gently, massaging his neck. He drew a shaky breath in an effort to control his voice. ÒDo you want me to go on?Ó he asked her. ÒOnly if you want to,Ó she replied. ÒI know itÕs painful, but talking sometimes helps.Ó ÒOkayÉ The kidnapper took fourteen children in total, all around the same age as Luke. I begged to stay on the case even though I had such a personal connection to it. We brought in a suspect and I was convinced he was guilty, but there was no evidence to link him to the places of the kidnappings, so he walked. I was working double shifts and hardly saw my wife. She quit her job after Luke disappeared, so she had nothing to do but sit home all day and think about him. I should have been there with her but I never knew she wouldÉÓ He took another deep breath. Scully continued to massage his neck. ÒOne night I came home to change and I couldnÕt find her. I checked the kitchen, the bedroom, the lounge, the bathroom. She was nowhere to be found. I walked into the kitchen to call MiriamÕs mother when I saw something strange in the yard. I found her out in the yard. SheÉ she hadÉ hung herselfÉ from LukeÕs treehouseÉÓ The tears in his eyes spilled over his cheeks and his body shook with his sobs. ÒHow was I supposed to know?Ó he choked out. ÒI had so much hope we would find Luke alive. She had none. She left a note apologising to me for not walking him to school. She blamed herself. I wasnÕt there for them both and theyÕre goneÉÓ Scully sat there with a stunned expression on her face. She never knew her partner had suffered so much in his life. She was seeing a side of him she never knew existed. She had always marvelled at his dedication to finding Mulder alive, but now she knew why; because of Luke. ÒAgent DoggettÉÓ she began. ÒJohn. You canÕt blame yourself for what happened. LukeÕs disappearance wasnÕt your fault.Ó ÒWell I canÕt blame her, can I?Ó he said bitterly. ÒWho else is there left to blame but myself?Ó Scully sighed. There was nothing she could do to help him except listen, so she asked him what happened next. ÒEnd of story. Nothing more to tell.Ó He said. ÒBut there is, John. This explains a lot to me, but it still doesnÕt tell me why you did what you did today, out in the woods.Ó Doggett sighed and ran his hand through his hair. ÒWhy I did that today? Why I risked my life to stop him, to find Billy?" She nodded. "To tell you the truth Agent Scully, my life doesnÕt mean much anymore. In fact it hasnÕt meant much since the night my wife died.Ó ÒAnd what if that gun had gone off properly, Agent Doggett? Then what?Ó asked Scully. ÒThen? Then nothing. I would probably be dead.Ó ÒAnd that doesnÕt bother you?Ó she asked in disbelief. ÒAgent Scully. I have no family. No one to come home to. My parents died a long time ago. Miriam is dead. Luke is dead and I would just as soon join them.Ó Scully couldnÕt believe what she was hearing. This man sitting in front of her, her partner, the man she thought was emotionally indestructable, wanted to die. He hated life so much without his family that he was willing to give it up. She had no idea what to say and was relieved when he started talking again. ÒEver since the day Miriam died, IÕve purposely put myself in risky situations. I would never knowingly endanger anyone elseÕs life, but I would volunteer for the most dangerous assignments, go into suspicious places without waiting for backup. I didnÕt care what happened to me, and neither did anybody else.Ó Scully put her hand on his arm and gave him a small smile. ÒWould it help if I cared?Ó He looked at her curiously for a moment and then smiled. ÒThanks. I appreciate it.Ó ÒAfter all youÕve done for me, I think I owe it to you,Ó she replied. ÒYou donÕt owe me anything, Agent Scully. When I told you IÕd help you find Mulder, it was as much for my peace of mind as yours. I didnÕt want anyone else to suffer what I went through after losing Luke and if I could find Mulder for you I thought I could save you from that, but I canÕt." Scully moved closer to him and turned his head with her hand so he was looking at her. ÒAgent Doggett, you have no idea how much your help and support over the last few months has meant to me. When Mulder disappeared I wanted to die too, but you have helped me through this, watched my back and brought me hope that we will find him.Ó She looked down at her hands as she continued. ÒWhen I saw you in the woods today with Ronnie Purnell and when I heard that gunshot, I was so scared. I thought I was going to lose another partner.Ó She paused. ÒAnd not just a partner. A friend.Ó She looked up at him to find him staring back down at her. ÒYou have no idea how much it means to hear you say that,Ó he said quietly. She smiled, then leaned over to give him a hug. He wrapped his arms around her waist and they stayed like that for a while. ÒI should be going,Ó Scully said after a while, and pulled back from his embrace. ÒYeah, okay,Ó he said, a bit awkwardly, standing up. ÒLook, Agent DoggettÉÓ He interrupted her. ÒJohnÉ itÕs John.Ó ÒJohnÓ she said. ÒI know you have watched my back without question, but I canÕt do the same for you if you put yourself in dangerous situations. You were lucky today but you might not be next time.Ó ÒI know. IÕm sorry. It wonÕt happen again.Ó He said. ÒAnd thanksÉ thanks for listening, Agent Scully.Ó ÒAnytime, AgentÉ John,Ó she corrected herself with a smile. ÒAny time. And my name is Dana.Ó ÒDana,Ó he acknowledged. She grabbed her coat and headed out the front door. Halfway down the path she turned, looked at him and gave a small laugh. ÒWhat?Ó he asked. ÒI still canÕt get over that gun firing backwards after it worked perfectly a few minutes before. I swear, John, you must have angels protecting you.Ó She got in her car and drove off. Doggett shut the door and headed upstairs to the bedroom. He stared at the photo of Luke and Miriam he always kept on the dresser. ÒMaybe I do have angels watching over me, Agent Scully,Ó he said. ÒMaybe I do.Ó The End AuthorÕs Note: Phew. This is my first fanfic and it seems to have taken forever to write. I donÕt know how people write 100 pages of this Ð IÕm exhausted and this is only 8!! Anyway, please email me with feedback Ð good or bad Ð at aussie_xphile25@yahoo.com.au Ð as I said this is my first attempt so if enough people tell me it is crap I wonÕt write anymore. The idea for the angels part of the story came from a song by Robbie Williams which I think is very appropriate for John Doggett. HereÕs the lyrics: Angels by Robbie Williams I sit and wait Does an angel contemplate my fate And do they know The places where we go When weÕre grey and old ÔCos IÕve been told That salvation lets their wings unfold So when IÕm lying in my bed Thoughts running through my head And I feel that love is dead IÕm loving angels instead CHORUS And through it all She offers me protection A lotta love and affection Whether IÕm right or wrong And down the waterfall Wherever it may take me I know that life wonÕt break me When I come to call she wonÕt forsake me IÕm loving angels instead When IÕm feeling weak And my pain walks down a one way street And I know IÕll always be blessed with love And as the feeling grows She breathes flesh to my bones And when love is dead IÕm loving angels instead REPEAT CHORUS Please visit my website: www.geocities.com/aussie_xphile25/