TITLE - D.C. Confidential (1 of 2) AUTHOR - Miss Bit E-MAIL ADDRESS - missbit@gmx.net DISTRIBUTION: Yes, to Xemplary, Ephemeral and Gossamer. Everybody else, please ask me first and keep all info attached. Thank you. SPOILER WARNING - Within RATING - PG CLASSIFICATION - V KEYWORDS - none SUMMARY - Mulder's gone, and Doggett and Scully struggle to come to an understanding... DISCLAIMER: Huh? What do you mean, *not* mine? I gotta give 'em back? *pouts* Oh, all right, here they are! *shoves them back to Ten Thirteen Productions, Fox Television and Chris Carter to whom they rightfully belong* But if the Almighty Creator (a.k.a. Chris Carter) keeps screwing up the way he does, I'm gonna keep 'em. For good. FEEDBACK: Well, of course!! Will be welcomed by a warm hug if you leave it at missbit@gmx.net AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, this started out as one vignette. Honestly, it did. It grew longer than I thought, though. So I decided to split it up into two parts, thus creating two vignettes from one. This is taking place after the events of 'Within', and my characterization of John Doggett is mostly guesswork. Anyway, I hope he'll turn out this way, you know, that strong kind of guy with a soft touch, a little bit in love with Scully... (she and Mulder belong together, though, so don't get any ideas ;-) BTW, this piece has nothing to do with the movie 'LA Confidential' - I just wanted a title that included the word 'confide'. Sorry for making this so long, but this is my first XF fanfic and I wanted to do everything the right way, *g*. Another short note at the end of part 2. AUTHOR'S REQUEST: Uhm, I'm in desperate need of beta readers, so if anyone out there feels like putting up with me and my scribbling... please let me know!! Now go on reading and please don't forget to let me know what you thought of it! D.C. Confidential (1 of 2) by Miss Bit The corridor that led to Kersh's office was less crowded than John Doggett had expected at this time of the day. But then most agents were either out to lunch or trying to avoid running into Kersh who, it seemed to Doggett, was not the most popular of superiors. For as long as Doggett had known Kersh the former Assistant Director had never given him a reason not to like him. Not that it was important to him. Doggett had never cared about liking or not liking his superiors as long as they had treated him fairly and not interfered with his way of handling his cases. Eventually, this attitude had helped him to get this job with the FBI. Doggett strode down the hallway, heading toward the elevators. He patiently waited for a group of young male agents to get out, then entered the elevator and pushed the button for the third floor. After having talked to Kersh for about an hour he was not exactly looking forward to another meeting but Skinner had insisted Doggett come and talk to him as soon as his meeting with Kersh was over. The elevator came to a halt and Doggett stepped out into another hallway. If the corridor two floors lower had been almost empty then this was deserted. There was only one other person. Doggett recognized her immediately. Special Agent Dana Scully was sitting on a bench, her hands folded in her lap, her blue eyes half closed. She seemed to be waiting for something, and Doggett assumed that Skinner had asked to see her, too. "Agent Scully", Doggett greeted, inclining his head towards her as he walked past her to talk to Skinner's secretary. Scully's eyes focused on him. She returned the nod. "Agent Doggett." Her voice was expressionless, as were her face and eyes. If she still held a grudge against him she was not letting anything on. "Ah, Agent Doggett", Skinner's secretary said as soon as he got into her sight. "AD Skinner is... busy right now. I'll let you know when you can go in." Doggett was a little surprised. Skinner had seemed quite keen on meeting him earlier on, but then the AD had not known when Doggett's meeting with Kersh would be offer. "I'll wait, then", he informed the smiling secretary. He hesitated for a moment, not quite sure if he wanted to find out what Scully's change in behavior meant. Maybe she was just giving him the cold shoulder, after all. But he had a distinct feeling that that was not the case. Doggett turned the corner and went over to the bench Scully was sitting on. With a glance he asked her permission to sit down next to her. After two or three seconds of silent consideration Scully nodded almost imperceptibly, and Doggett took a seat. The silence between them stretched until it became uncomfortable, though Doggett realized that the awkwardness seemed to be mostly on his part. He tried to think of something to say, something that would startle her out of her well-kept guard but not enough to make her too angry at him. All he wanted were some pieces of information that would, eventually, help him to find Agent Mulder. "Kersh speaks very highly of you." Scully surprised him, more so by being the first of them to say something than by what she said. "He's got no reason not to do so", Doggett replied smoothly. "So I've heard. AD Skinner wants to talk to you?" She turned her head to look at him. Her hands were still folded in her lap, giving him no clue as to what she might be thinking. What bothered him even more was the fact that he could not read in her eyes, like he could so easily the other day when she had seemed so agitated about the rumors he had told her about. Today, Agent Scully was composed, an expression of utter calm on her face and in her eyes. Doggett noted that Scully had not used Kersh's title whereas she had given Skinner that courtesy. "Yes. I suppose he's not too happy about my handling this manhunt for Agent Mulder." Doggett carefully watched for any signs, as inconspicuous as they might be, that would give away Scully's thoughts or at least her intentions. Not even the mention of her partner's name evoked a reaction. "Your methods don't agree with him", Scully answered noncommittally. "From what I've heard, neither did Agent Mulder's." This time, Doggett's words did provoke a reaction. There was a brief flash of anger in her eyes which she suppressed quickly, but not fast enough for him not to notice. She gave him a tight smile. "Agent Mulder has earned Skinner's respect, and though they do have different views on how to interpret the Bureau's regulations, there's nothing wrong with their working relationship." "Are you implying that there is some sort of problem between AD Skinner and me?" Scully's smile grew a bit wider, almost touching her eyes. Almost. For a fleeting moment Doggett wondered what she might look like with a genuine, a happy, smile on her face, a smile that included her eyes. In the short time that he had known her he had only seen her either angry or sad. Today was the first exception; he was now getting a glimpse of the strong-willed, self-composed agent he'd heard a lot about. 'Glad to finally meet you, Agent Scully', he thought wryly. "You're here to find out about that, aren't you?" Doggett decided that he had had enough chit-chat. "I am here because I have been told that there will be some changes in personnel. Obviously, these changes will not only affect me. Deputy Director Kersh is making sure that only the most qualified and apt agents will work on Agent Mulder's case so as not to waste the Bureau's resources." When he had finished he could not help but admire Scully's self-composure. He knew his comment on personnel rearrangements had hit home; for Scully's greatest fear seemed to be that she would no longer be allowed to participate in the search for her partner. She tensed at his words and her eyes narrowed. Doggett watched with some fascination as she forced herself to relax again, though he was sure that what she really wanted to do was to unleash her anger and frustration against him. "I'm sure Kersh only has the best in mind for the Bureau", she said flatly. "Even if that's not what's best for Agent Mulder", Doggett finished the sentence for her, a trace of compassion coloring his voice. He saw her blink in surprise at his words. Scully averted her eyes from him, but only for the length of a heartbeat. When she looked at him again, her gaze was searching, and Doggett found himself wishing to pass her silent examination. She kept looking at him, her gaze calm and steady, giving Doggett the impression that there was something she wanted to tell him, only that she was not sure if she should. The moment passed, and Scully rose from the bench, all the while maintaining eye contact with him. Doggett knew that whatever she had wanted to tell him was important to her, but he also knew that she was not going to tell him now. "I'll see you later, Agent Doggett", Scully said evenly, not waiting for him to answer. She turned on her heel and began to walk down the hallway. Doggett felt slightly confused. He was not sure about what had just happened. But he did know that he wanted some answers from Scully. "Scully! Please, wait", he called after her, knowing he had said something wrong as soon as the words were out. She stopped dead in her tracks, her body stiffening. Slowly, she turned around and came back to where he was sitting. Her face was even, but there was an unmistakable turmoil in her eyes. "Don't call me that!" she demanded sharply, a little to Doggett's surprise. Why on earth should the mention of her name have her so upset? Then it came to him. He must have, involuntarily, sounded like her partner. "It is your name, isn't it?" He asked innocently. Scully gave him an unreadable look. "I'd rather you call me Agent Scully", she replied, much calmer again. "Or Dana, if you must." The add-on caught him by surprise, and he realized that this issue must hold more importance to her than he had thought, what with her being ready to put herself on a first name basis with a de facto stranger. "Very well, then, Agent Scully. I'll keep that in mind." His choice of words got him a brief nod, though whether acknowledging or appreciating he could not tell. "So, what was it, Agent Doggett?" Scully wanted to know. Doggett struggled with himself for a second or two, realizing that he could not tell her why he had called her back because he did not know that for sure, either. For a moment he wondered whether or not he should tell her what he had learned in DD Kersh's office about ten minutes ago. Not only had Kersh indicated that there would be some changes in the current assignments of several agents, he had also pointed out the remote possibility that Doggett would be reassigned - to the X-Files. He had no clue whatsoever exactly how remote the possibility was, but he was certain that even the slightest hint to such a change would not go well with Scully. After all, it was as good as a admitting that Mulder would not return. Or, at least, not in the near future. "Well, you were here before me", Doggett said, deciding to go with the obvious. "Don't you want to wait for AD Skinner to call you in?" Scully's eyes grew wide at his question, and for a split second Doggett thought she was about to laugh. But then she tilted her head ever so slightly to the left, giving him an oddly curious look. "Whoever said I was waiting to see Skinner?" She asked, her face carefully kept expressionless. Doggett was stunned speechless for almost a whole minute, the full meaning of her words slowly sinking in. So he had been right - she had been waiting for something when he had first seen her sitting here, only it had not been Skinner she had wanted to talk to. He did not know whether to feel flattered or alarmed but went with flattered since Agent Scully surely did not pose a threat to him. She was, however, worth of his undivided attention, Doggett decided, if he was ever going to figure her out. Once more, Scully did not wait for his reply to her last remark, but left him sitting. She strode down the hallway, nodding friendly at Skinner's secretary when she passed her. About a second later, Skinner's booming voice rang through the corridor. "Scully? Is that you?" Doggett saw her turn around to face the AD. A warm smile flashed across her delicate features. So she did not object to Skinner calling her that? At that, Doggett felt a strange twinge, feeling every bit like the outsider he was to these two people. Usually, it would not even bother him, but here and now it did. "I thought you took the day off", Skinner continued, giving her a concerned look and relaxing when he saw she was all right. "Well, I just thought I'd better remind you of your appointment tonight, Sir", Scully said lightly. Skinner's expression became serious, and, if Doggett was not erring, slightly annoyed. "I must admit I find it quite hard to forget *them*", he answered, putting an emphasis on the last word. Scully smiled at his words, shaking her head ever so slightly. "They have been a great help to me. I don't know where I'd be today if it weren't for their support", she said gently, in such a low voice that Doggett had a hard time understanding her at all. It was then that he realized that he was eavesdropping on Skinner and Scully. Not that he had planned to. After all, this was a public hallway, right? "I appreciate that", Skinner was quick to reassure her. "I do. But they can be... enervating." "So you'll come?" "Wouldn't dream of missing it." "I might be a little late. There's something I have to take care of first." Skinner smiled warmly at her. "You just take your time. See you tonight, Agent Scully." "Yes, see you then, Sir." Scully was about to leave when she suddenly turned her head in Doggett's direction, as if suddenly remembering that he was there, too. She raised her eyebrows at him, and the gesture made Doggett feel uneasy. As if he had been caught doing something which was not only wrong but also highly immoral. And in a way, he had. He returned Scully's look, not letting anything on. After a second or two, Scully broke the eye contact, turned and left. Doggett suddenly found himself under the full attention of Assistant Director Skinner. Skinner could be intimidating at times, and right now he was doing his best to nourish this impression. "Agent Doggett, I'd like to talk to you if you can spare a few minutes for me", he said sternly, clearly giving an order instead of asking a favor. Doggett got up from the bench, drawing himself up to his full height. He was not going to let Skinner get away with it. After all, Skinner was not his superior. Not yet. Still a little confused about his encounter with Agent Scully, Doggett followed Skinner into his office, wondering how many more surprises the future might hold for him. End of part 1 -- D.C. Confidential (2 of 2) by Miss Bit The apartment was only dimly lit but Scully would have found her way around even in complete darkness. Mulder's apartment was as familiar to her as her own, maybe even a little bit more so since she had been spending a lot of time here lately. A furtive glance at the clock told her that it was almost time for her to go. She frowned, for she was loath to leave Mulder's apartment. It was as if his spirit, his essence, was still palpable when she stayed here. The scent of him was still around, lingering in the pillows on the couch, the sheets on his bed, even in the air. This was as close as she could get to Mulder right now, and she treasured every second of it. Part of her thought she was acting pretty ridiculous but coming here took the edge off the pain of loosing Mulder. It was still one of the most painful experiences she had ever made. But if she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, she could at least pretend that he was near, in the other room maybe. Scully felt a burning sensation in her eyes and knew that tears were threatening to well up again. She blinked rapidly, trying to ignore the constricted feeling in her throat. 'This is not the time to loose yourself in your broodings', she told herself firmly, walking out of the living-room and into Mulder's bedroom. It, too, looked as though Mulder had just left for a few days and might be walking in any second now. Scully sighed and picked up one of Mulder's sweaters that was thrown over the back of a chair. She went over to the bed, put the sweater down and started folding it up. Once again she fought back her tears, forcing herself to concentrate on the task at hand, even if it was as trivial as folding laundry. Her gaze lingered on the sheets of Mulder's bed. It had been oddly comforting to sleep there, and maybe she would permit herself to return here after her meeting with the Lone Gunmen and Skinner was over. Her lips curled into a tentative smile as she thought of Skinner standing before the Gunmen's door, waiting for them to invite him into their lair. Surely the guys would let him in, even without her being there... A noise from the living-room caught her attention. She felt her heart skip a beat, only to go on beating a lot faster then. It was not, it could not be... him. 'Mulder won't just walk in like that. Welcome to real life, Dana.' Scully tried to get a grip on herself as she turned to face the doorway. She was not at all surprised to see Doggett standing there. After all, she had left him pretty confused after their conversation in front of Skinner's office. "Agent Doggett, hi." Doggett did not seem to be surprised at seeing her here again, either. "Hello, Agent Scully." His blue eyes locked with hers. There was a steel-like expression on his face, but his eyes were telling her enough; she did not need to read the expression on his face. "Is there something I can do for you?" "Well, yeah, as a matter of fact. There's something we should talk about. You see, I did not even bother to try your place. I figured I'd be more likely to find you here." Scully frowned slightly at his words. Why was he telling her that? So she had been spending a lot of time in Mulder's apartment lately. That was certainly none of his business. "So, now that you've found me, what is it you wanted to talk about?" "Whoever said it was me who wanted to talk?" His gaze softened, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Scully was impressed. So he had listened to her earlier this day. Really listened. Even for a former copper he did possess an astonishing amount of empathy. What with him not having known her for much longer than a day or two. "You talk, and I listen, Agent Scully", he continued, his tone a trifle gentler than before. She nodded, trying to think of something to begin with. This was not easy for her. Doggett was almost a complete stranger to her, yet she felt the urge to trust him. As of yet she had not decided whether or not she liked him, but she knew that he might be a valuable help in finding Mulder. And his remarks about her not really knowing Mulder still stung. That was why she had wanted to talk to him in the first place. To make him understand that she did know her partner, even if there were things she did not know about him. "Her name was Sheila", she finally began, sitting down on the bed, putting the sweater on her lap. Her eyes never left Doggett's face. "She used to work in accounting. I met her four years ago. Well, actually, she met me. There was something she wanted to tell me. It seemed to be urgent to her, so I agreed to meet her. And I listened to her. For three years I wished I hadn't." Doggett's expression was one of attentive calm. Scully took a deep breath, willing herself to get it over with. "She was one of the women Mulder would confide in, as you put it. The only one I ever knew about; the only one I ever wanted to know about. They had an affair, a brief one that was ended by Sheila. She felt attracted to him, but there was something about him that made it impossible for her to turn it into a long-term relationship." Dammit, it should not be so hard on her, not after all those years. She closed her eyes very briefly, as much to steady herself as to escape Doggett's intense gaze for a moment. It was as if Doggett tried to see right into her. And she let him, for reasons she did not care to admit to herself. "Sheila told me that, when they were together... when they were having..." Scully heard her voice quiver but she couldn't help it. This was painful for her. It had been hard enough on her to deal with it in the privacy of her mind, but dragging it out in the open was almost impossible to bear. Oddly enough the fact that Doggett was as much a stranger to her as Sheila had been made it a bit easier to go on now. Doggett was still looking at her with this intense gaze. He did not say anything, and once again Scully was impressed. Anyone else might have tried to help her by putting in a polite expression for what she was going to say, only making matters worse for her in the end. Maybe Doggett sensed that what she needed was not his help but his full attention. She needed him to understand. 'Come on, Dana, get it out. Look at him; he won't laugh at you. And it won't kill you to say this.' "When they were in bed, having sex, Mulder would cry out a name. It wasn't Sheila's." She paused for a moment, and when she continued her voice was but a pained whisper. "It was mine." Even after all this time, Scully still felt sorry. Sorry for Mulder, who had never dared tell her about the emotional dilemma he was in. Sorry for herself, since she had sensed it but never allowed herself to recognize what it meant. It was not so much the knowledge that had hurt her all those years; it was the fact that she had not started to act on it until a few months ago. "Sheila said she wouldn't have minded if it had happened only once, what with Mulder and me being partners, being... close. But it seems that it happened more than once, and Sheila didn't want to put up with it. She thought I should know about it; that's why she told me in the first place." Scully felt herself blush ever so slightly. She averted her eyes from him. Maybe it had been wrong to tell Doggett about this. He did not need to know it. But, for some reason, she needed him to know. Scully forced herself to look up at him again. Tears were brimming in her eyes, but she blinked them away. The memory hurt, yes, but that would not make her break down and cry in front of Doggett. Who was still looking at her, a completely different expression in his eyes now. There was compassion; she had expected that. And there was understanding; she had hoped for that. But there was something else she thought she saw. Gratitude? For sharing this with him? "I never told Mulder. He doesn't know I know. That I learned it the way I did." "But you told me", Doggett said softly, speaking for the first time in what seemed an eternity to Scully. "Why?" The question did not surprise her. It scared her a bit, though. This time she fought down the urge to avert her eyes from him. She held his gaze, lending her voice an even tone. "Because I wanted you to know. I do know my partner, even if I don't know every single detail of his life. So I don't know the rumors about him or him and me? So be it. It's the things that count I know about." "You didn't know he was dying", Doggett said in the softest of tones. At that, Scully closed her eyes. It was true, she had not known. Mulder had not told her. Had he planned to? Or was he just going to die, taking her by surprise, leaving her behind in shocked grief? Was there a cure that he had hoped to find in time to save his life, just as the implant had saved her from the cancer? But there was another question, even more important to her - had she wanted to know? She opened her eyes, meeting Doggett's curious gaze. "I didn't want to", she replied quietly, amazed at the even tone she had managed. "But in my heart, I think I knew. I'm a medic; I know the signs. Maybe I just chose not to see them." She stared into the depths of Doggett's steel-blue eyes, putting her every bit of determination into her look. Doggett gave a very small nod of appreciation. "If you really want to find him, Agent Doggett, there's no one else who'll be a more valuable and reliable help in doing so than me." There was no answer from Doggett, at least not a spoken one. His stance had not changed; he was still standing in the doorway, his arms hanging loosely by his side, his expression one of calm attention. But his eyes were so much more communicative than the rest of him. Scully searched them, hoping to find some sort of tacit agreement in them. And she did. Then, suddenly, the expression in his eyes changed, became alert and slightly aggressive. She had seen this expression before, when he had talked to her about those rumors. Something was heading her way, and Scully steeled herself. "Do you knit, Agent Scully?" Did she knit? What kind of a silly question was this? But then, this was Doggett, this was the man who tried to provoke powerful reactions with seemingly senseless remarks. "No. I never find the time", she answered carefully. Just what was he up to? "But you know how to?" Doggett insisted. In spite of herself, Scully felt anger stir in the pit of her stomach. Here he was, wasting time with meaningless questions, instead of being out there on his search for Mulder. He kept telling her that that was what he wanted - finding Mulder. So why these questions now? "Yes", she said, exasperated. Waiting for him to make sense. "So, suppose you did find the time - and I'm quite sure you will - what's it gonna be? A blue jumper or a pink one?" His question hit her totally by surprise. Now where had that come from? And why had she not seen it coming? It was all she could do not to put her hands over her stomach in a protective gesture. Did he know? Could he know? For a split second Scully wondered if Skinner had given away her secret. 'No', she decided firmly, 'he would never betray my trust like that.' Her thoughts lingered for a few seconds on the unborn life in her. She still had no idea how it had happened but that did not make her less happy it had happened at all. This child was a gift to her - only she was not sure by whom. "So where's your grain of salt now, Agent Doggett?" She asked coolly, determined not to let anything on. "It seems to me that you are relying far too heavily on rumors to gather information." Though, privately, she wondered if the rumors about her pregnancy had really already started. The expression in Doggett's eyes had softened once more. This time, the softness seemed deceptive to Scully, what with the kind of questions he was asking her. "Is Agent Mulder the father?" He asked, in a tone as calm as if he had only asked her what time it was. 'Now there's a good question if I've ever heard one', Scully thought wryly. 'Wouldn't you like to know? Wouldn't *I* like to know?' It was a question she had given a lot of thought to these past two days. Not that she had come up with a satisfactory answer. There was no way of knowing - for sure - who the baby's father was, untiil she had a paternity test run on her child. Which she would do, in due time. She felt another wave of anger burn in her stomach. Doggett's question, the question she had asked herself over and over again, made her angry beyond reason. Yes, there was a good chance that Mulder was the father, one way or another, but Scully knew that there was also another possibility. Well, more than one, actually. She had no way of knowing exactly what had happened to her during the time she had been unconscious in the hands of the CSM. The thought was sickening, and Scully had a hard time fighting back a wave of nausea. She would not - could not - go there now. Not with Doggett facing her,, waiting for an answer. Any answer. "What do you expect me to say to that?" She asked Doggett, with more calm than she was feeling at the moment. "Yes or no, Agent Scully." His voice was matter-of-factly, but there also was a hint of understanding in it. Scully nodded. "Yes", she said, "or no." Doggett stared at her, uncomprehending. Then understanding dawned, and he began to chuckle. The chuckle grew into a full, heartfelt laugh that lasted a whole minute until it began to die down. "I see", he then said, becoming serious again. Scully was a little bit surprised that he would let her off the hook so easily but then decided not to look the gift horse in the mouth. Maybe there was a way the two of them could get along, after all. "It's gonna show in few months", Doggett continued, by way of a warning, leaving Scully to wonder whether or not Doggett knew she was pregnant. But then, why ask her all these questions if he did not know, if he was just guessing? Besides, there was nothing to guess right now. Her pregnancy did not show - yet - and Skinner was the only one she had told about the child. So Doggett must know. But who had told him? Who else knew she was pregnant? A fleeting thought of the CSM crossed her mind, but she pushed it away. "We'll see about that", she answered Doggett's warning, neither confirming nor denying his assumptions. Doggett locked eyes with her, and they stared at each other for a minute or two. Eventually, Doggett nodded. Scully felt a surge of relief wash through her. He could be a powerful ally, a valuable support and she really did not want to have to fight him. "You don't like me very much, do you, Agent Scully?" He suddenly asked, surprising her a little. "Is that important?" She genuinely wanted to know. "It is, to me", he replied. And he looked as if he had only just realized that himself. "I didn't have the time to decide that yet", Scully said, rewarding his honesty with a small smile. The tension she had sensed between them eased off, and for the first time Scully felt at ease in Doggett's presence. True, they were quite different personalities, with backgrounds that could hardly be any more dissimilar, but right now she could see a way for them to work together until they could bring Mulder back. The thought lifted her spirits a bit and made it easier for her to leave the apartment now. Scully got up from the bed, turned away from Doggett and walked over to the closet. She opened it and put Mulder's sweater on the top shelf. Then she closed the wardrobe and turned to face Doggett. He cocked his head, watching her curiously. She bridged the distance between them, pausing for a second or two, and then went past him. "Agent Scully?" He called after her, clearly confused. "Don't forget to feed the fish", she said, halfway to the door. Then, half-turning, she added: "And lock the door when you leave." With that, she left Mulder's apartment, looking forward to the evening when she would return here. As much as she appreciated Doggett's coming here, she wanted him gone as soon as possible so that she could find some comfort in all the little reminders of Mulder before she drifted off to sleep. The End That's it. Hope you liked it. Again, feedback will be celebrated at missbit@gmx.net, *g*. BTW, should there be any demand for it I could turn this into a series that will accompany the events of season 8, depending on how fast I get to see those new episodes. --