Title: Dead and Buried (1/1)
Author: L. M. Shard
E-mail address: lsshard@earthlink.net
Rating: R
Category: S, R
Spoilers: Everything up to and including "TINH"
Keywords: Mulder/Scully, Scully/Doggett, character death
Feedback:  I love it!  Please let me know what you think.  I 
answer all responses.
Disclaimer:  Don't own 'em, wish I did.
Summary:  A grieving Scully finds comfort.



DEAD AND BURIED
By L. M. Shard


He was dead.  Mulder was dead!  Dana Scully just couldn't 
believe it.  After all these intense months of searching for 
him, hoping, praying for his safe return, there he was, back 
on this earth, dead.  She would never forget when Agent 
Doggett had run to her, telling her he had found Mulder.  
She had sprinted over to his still form and her heart raced 
with the thrill of finally seeing him again.  Joy had spread 
throughout her body like a wild fire, but it was quickly 
extinguished as she realized that although Mulder's body 
was there, his spirit no longer dwelled within him.  He was 
cold, lifeless: dead.  She had run to Jeremiah Smith for 
help, but he was gone, taken by the aliens.  There was 
nothing that could be done.  She had screamed, a deep, 
soul-wrenching scream that originated from the pit of her 
being, from the depths of her anguish.  She had screamed 
and screamed, flinging herself over Mulder's still body, 
tears spilling on his lifeless face.  She remembered Doggett 
and Skinner holding her arms, fearing for her sanity, yet 
sharing in her pain.  She had pushed them both away, 
ceasing her screams, and falling silent.  She looked at 
Mulder's face, thinking how beautiful he still was, even 
with all the scars and marks his alien captors had left.  She 
remembered tracing the details of his face with her finger, 
trying to memorize every curve and feature.  She 
remembered kissing his cold lips, praying to breathe life 
into them.  She remembered Doggett suddenly appearing at 
her side again and falling into his arm.  Her tears flowed 
rivers and although she didn't quite remember all the events 
that took place thereafter, she did remember always being 
in John Doggett's arms.  She remembered that when there 
were no more tears left to cry and her body was spent with 
emotional exhaustion, he was still there holding her, 
soothing her.  He had said very little, but just his being 
there was somehow a thread to keeping her sanity.

Now, as she sat in bed in her dark apartment she thought of 
her new partner.  She had insisted he, Skinner and the 
others leave her alone and in peace.  In peace!  She had 
actually said that!  Like she'd ever have peace again without 
Mulder!  With lots of convincing they had finally left.  And 
now she was all alone: alone in her misery, alone with her 
feelings, alone with her memories.  As soon as they had 
left, she had cried again until she could no more.  And now, 
sitting in her bed she was going crazy with grief.  She didn't 
know what to do.  Her mother was visiting her older brother 
on the West Coast and wouldn't be there until the following 
night.  It was two in the morning, but she had to escape the 
pain.  She pulled a coat over her pajamas and headed out 
the door to her car.  She drove around aimlessly for over an 
hour, memories of Mulder flashing through her mind.  She 
gently caressed her swollen belly, thinking of the day that 
she had found out that the invitro fertilization had worked 
afterall.  She was so happy she was carrying Mulder's baby 
and Mulder had very much shared in her joy.  Why she 
hadn't allowed herself to open her heart and conceive the 
baby the natural way?  Why couldn't she have told Mulder 
how much she loved him?  Now it was too late and her 
baby would have no father.

She was going out of her mind with pain and, without even 
realizing it, she came to a stop.  She looked out the window 
and saw she was at Doggett's apartment.  By now it was 
past three in the morning.  She hesitated to wake him, but 
she was desperate.

Doggett heard a knock on his door.  He got up from his bed 
right away, since he hadn't been able to sleep much.  He had 
been thinking of the night's events and Scully.  He had 
wondered if she was alright being alone in her grief.  
Several times that night he had picked up the phone to call 
her and check up on her.  But she had made it clear that she 
wanted to be alone, so each time he hung up without 
dialing.  He opened the door surprised to find Scully 
standing before him.  She was disheveled and pale.  Her 
eyes were swollen from her many tears and the look in her 
eyes was one of desperation and torment.

"I'm sorry, Agent Doggett, I know it's late, I didn't know 
what to do.  I..." she said in a whisper.

"Shh," he said.  "I'm glad you came."

With that she fell into his arms and let the tears flow again.  
He held her tightly, stroking her hair with his hand.  He 
tried to soothe her shaking form, his heart aching for her.  
He knew her pain and how complete it was.

When her tears slowed down, he brought her over to the 
couch and they sat down.  She helped herself to the tissues 
on the coffee table and dabbed her swollen, red eyes.

"Do you think you can sleep?"  Doggett asked with great 
concern.  "It would do you some good."

She shook her head.  "No, I'm just such a mess.  I feel like 
I'm going crazy.  The pain is just so great.  I don't know 
what to do."

"I know the feeling," he said.  She looked up at him and 
saw great pain in his eyes.  "I lost my wife and child."

"I'm so sorry," she said, understanding his pain.  She had 
had no idea that his life had harbored such suffering.  She 
covered his hand with hers.

"My wife died in childbirth about eight years ago.  She 
never got to know our beautiful baby boy, Kevin.  Then, 
when he was five, he vanished.  Kidnapped.  Agent Reyes, 
a couple other agents, and I searched for him for years.  We 
found nothing.  About a year ago, they found his remains, 
buried in a shallow grave out in the woods."  A tear trickled 
down Doggett's cheek.

She gently wiped his tear with her fingers.  "I'm so sorry," 
she said again.  He did understand what she was going 
through.  He had lost even more than she did.

They held each other again for a long time, each in their 
own misery.

"How did you ever survive?  How did you get through each 
day?"  She asked in despair.

"I don't know.  You just do it.  One day at a time," he said, 
then continued, "My family helped and a couple close 
friends.  If it weren't for them...I don't think I would have 
made it.  But the pain, it's always there.  You just learn to 
live with it."

They held each other some more in silence.  Then Scully 
said, "Thank you for being here for me.  My mother won't 
be here until tomorrow night and I just didn't know where 
to go."

"I'm glad you came to me.  Please don't hesitate to ask me 
for anything.  I will be there for you as long as you want.  
Now, let's see if you can get some sleep."

"I don't know," she said, doubting that she could, although 
her mind screamed for some rest.

"You take my bed.  I washed the sheets yesterday.  I'll take 
the couch," he offered.

"No.  I can't kick you out of your own bed," she said.

"It's not a problem," he said.  "Go on, get some sleep."

She went to the bedroom without further protest.  As she 
lay on the bed she could hear Doggett shuffling around 
making his makeshift bed.  He was so kind to put up with 
her like this.  He was so different from Mulder, yet... 
thoughts of Mulder flooded her mind again.  He was dead!  
Tears filled her eyes and she cried into the pillow.  

Doggett lay on the couch having trouble falling asleep.  His 
grief over his family had renewed itself through Scully's 
grief.   He missed his wife and son so much.  But after 
many years he finally had made a life without them.   It was 
a life that consisted mainly of work - he put in as much time 
at the office as he could - but that was what it took to get 
him through each day.  His thoughts turned to Scully.  He 
was worried about her and wished he could do more for her.  
But he knew that except for just being there, there was not 
much he could do.  Time was the slow, imperfect healer for 
wounds like this.  

Suddenly he heard Scully's cries of anguish.  He listened for 
a while, his heart aching for her, then gave in to the strong 
urge to go to her.

He lightly tapped on the bedroom door.  It was partially 
open and he slowly walked into the room.  The small lamp 
on the nightstand was still on, casting a warm glow over 
Scully's small curled up body.

"Agent Scully," he whispered.

She looked at him through tear-filled eyes.  He knelt down 
beside her and stroked her arm.  She was trembling with 
grief.  "Please hold me," she said so quietly, he barely heard 
her.

He laid on top of the covers with his arms around her in the 
spooning position.  His closeness and warmth brought 
immediate comfort for her and she quieted down, her body 
ceasing its trembling.  Finally she drifted off into sleep.  He 
heard her breathing become even and slowly reached over 
to the lamp and turned it off.  Then he gently extricated his 
arms from her and got off the bed.  Hopefully she would 
sleep in peace for the remainder of the night.  He was about 
to exit the room, when he heard her murmur, "Please don't 
go."  Her request was whispered and meek.  Totally 
unorthodox.  But she was desperate and no longer cared.  
Her emotions were in a tumultuous mess and she needed to 
be grounded.  She trusted him.

"Alright.  I'll stay with you," he whispered back and 
resumed his former position.  It was like that, that sleep 
finally overcame them both.
 
Morning came and Scully awoke with a start.  She sat up in 
bed, not recognizing her surroundings, then saw John 
Doggett lying next to her.  He was already awake, watching 
her.  She was confused for a moment, and then her memory 
came flooding back, as did the pain.  Suddenly she was 
embarrassed.  She had slept in this man's bed and had asked 
him to hold and stay with her.  She didn't want him to think 
she just went around sleeping with men all the time.

"I'm sorry.  I should go.  I don't want you to get the wrong 
idea.  I--," Scully rambled, her cheeks turning a bright 
crimson.

Doggett interrupted," It's okay, Agent Scully.  I would 
never take advantage of you or think less of you for needing 
comfort.  I am here for you.  Please don't feel embarrassed," 
he said in such a gentle, loving tone that her embarrassment 
quickly disappeared.

"Thank you," she said.  "Thank you for being here for me.  I 
don't know what I would have done without you last night.  
I actually got a few hours of sleep."

"I'm so glad.  And, no need to thank me.  I am happy that I 
could help," he said soothingly.  Then he got out of bed and 
took out a pair of clean sweat pants and a T-shirt and 
handed them to Scully.  "You can take a shower, if you'd 
like and wear these.  There are fresh towels in the 
bathroom.  I'll make us some breakfast."

"Thank you," she said.  He smiled.  His heart went out to 
her and the long, difficult struggle ahead for her.  But he 
vowed to be there for her in any way she needed him.  He 
had to.   He wanted to.   He cared for her very much.  

She showered, letting the hot water wash away her fresh 
tears.  Mulder was gone.  He was really gone.  She touched 
the swell of her belly and wondered how she was ever 
going to make it without him.  She felt lost.  Even though 
they had never really verbalized their love to each other, it 
was understood.  She knew he would always be there for 
her and she for him.  But now, he was gone.  Gone.  Just 
like that.  Yet the world didn't end.  Here she was 
showering, getting ready for another grief-filled day, soon 
to have breakfast, have a conversation, plan the funeral, so 
much to do....  Ahhh!  Her mind screamed.  The world 
didn't end, but her life did.  The baby kicked inside her 
womb.  Well, life as she knew it ended.  For the sake of 
Mulder's baby, she had to continue.  With that thought, she 
climbed out of the shower, dried off and put on the clothes 
Doggett had lent her, rolling up the pants legs that were 
way too big for her.  She borrowed his comb and ran it 
though her hair.  She looked horrible.  Puffy, red eyes, no 
makeup, pale face, and stringy, wet hair.  She didn't care.  
She sat down on the end of the bed, starring at the wall.  All 
her tears were spent.   She felt numb.

A few minutes later, she heard a knock on the door.  She 
kept starring at the wall.  Slowly Doggett came into the 
room and knelt down besides her.  He took her hand in his.  
"Dana..."

At the sound of her given name she fell into his arms and 
held him tightly.  "I don't know what to feel.  I don't have 
any feelings left.  They've been all used up.  I am numb."  
The words just spilled out.  They didn't make sense to her.  
"I don't know what to do."

"I'll take care of everything."  How desperately he wanted 
her pain to vanish.  He would have gladly taken it upon 
himself had it been possible.

"The funeral!  I have to plan it.  I want everyone there that 
cared about him."  She paused, thinking.  "But there were 
so few.  His mother, father, sister-all dead.  There's just 
Skinner, the Gunmen, and myself.  The other agents just 
laughed at him.  How could they!  Didn't they see what a 
great man he was?!"  She was suddenly frantic with despair.

"Shh.  Dana, those people don't matter.  You matter.  He 
was loved by you.  That made him a very lucky man."

"I never even told him that I loved him!" she said, her grief 
mounting.

Doggett was surprised at this, but said, "I'm sure he must 
have known.  There are many ways to show your love."

"I guess.  But I should have said it.  I should have told him, 
'I love you', and now it's too late."

"He knows."  Doggett held her.  Several moments passed in 
silence.  "Let's have some breakfast."

He took her hand and led her to the kitchen table.  He 
poured her a steaming cup of decaf coffee and placed a 
plate with an omelet and toast in front of her.  She wasn't 
hungry.

Noticing that she wasn't touching her food, Doggett said 
gently, "Dana, you need to eat.  You need strength for 
yourself and for the baby."

She placed one hand on her stomach and took the piece of 
toast with the other.  She ate, but tasted nothing.

"If you'd like, I can help you make the funeral 
arrangements," Doggett offered.

She sighed.  "That would be great.  I just don't think I'm up 
for the job by myself."

She spent most of the day at Doggett's apartment okaying 
the funeral options Doggett researched.  She had to be a 
part of the planning.  It was important.  With Doggett doing 
most of the work, it was manageable for her.  By the time 
noon rolled around, the arrangements were complete.  
Doggett made them lunch.  This time she found herself to 
have an appetite.

"I've got to get home now," Scully said after finishing her 
meal.  "My mom will be here in a few hours and later I 
have to stop by and get Mulder's autopsy report."

"Should I drive you?"  He asked with concern.

"No, I'm okay to drive," she said.

They both headed to the front door.

"Thank you so much for everything, John."  A first name 
basis felt more natural, considering what they had been 
through the past twenty-four hours.  "I am so grateful for all 
your help and support.  I really don't know what I would 
have done without you."  She felt so lucky to have this 
wonderful man in her life.  She felt much closer to him after 
last night and respected him greatly.

"Thanks are not needed.  I know your mom will be here 
soon, but if you need me, please just call or come over.  It 
doesn't matter what time it is."  Doggett said with sincerity.  
He was worried about the effect the autopsy report would 
have on her.

"Thank you.   I might take you up on that."

They hugged tightly, neither wanting to let go.  Suddenly 
Doggett felt a kick.

"Was that the baby?"  He asked surprised.

"Yes," she smiled.  "Here, feel," she said, taking his hand 
and placing it on her stomach.  The baby kicked again.

"Wow!  That's amazing."  He felt so honored to be feeling 
her stomach like this.  It was so intimate.

They both smiled.  True smiles, the first ones since 
discovering Mulder's body.  He took his hand away and 
Scully missed the warmth it brought her.

"I'll see you later," she said and left.

Margaret Scully was a great comfort to her daughter.  She 
too, had gone through incredible pain in her life with the 
loss of her husband and younger daughter.  She stayed with 
her bereaved daughter, soothing her the best she could.  But 
when it came time to pick up Mulder's autopsy report, 
Scully insisted she go herself and sent her mother home.

She went over the report in detail with the doctor who had 
preformed the autopsy.  It was gruesome.  The pain Mulder 
must have endured was mind-boggling.  She used all her 
strength to keep her tears in check, but when she left the 
room and reached her car, they came streaming down in a 
torrent.  After several minutes, she collected herself enough 
to drive and headed to Doggett's place.  She couldn't bear 
going home to an empty apartment with memories of 
Mulder everywhere.

Scully knocked on Doggett's door and the moment he 
opened it, she fell into his arms.  He held her closely.

"It was bad, John.  It was bad.  The torture they put him 
through!  He suffered so much!" She exclaimed, handing 
the report to Doggett.  He took it from her shaking hand and 
read over it.  It was horrifying.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.  He didn't know what to say 
so he just held her.

The rest of the night was spent in his arms again.  He 
insisted she sleep at his place and she reluctantly, yet 
gratefully, accepted.  She was angry with herself for 
needing his comfort, for not being able to be alone.  She 
was a strong woman, but her strength had abandoned her 
these past few days.  Perhaps it was the pregnancy 
hormones that compounded the grief and stripped her of her 
strength.  Whatever it was, she vowed that she would be 
that strong woman once again.  Just not now.  Now she 
simply wanted to be like the baby she was carrying: curled 
up in warmth and comfort, safe from the outside world.  
John Doggett provided this, and she was not going to turn 
him down.

The next day Doggett drove her to the funeral home where 
Mulder's body had been prepared and laid out for viewing.  
About a dozen people had already arrived by the time 
Scully and Doggett made their entrance.  Skinner and the 
three Gunmen were among them.  All went over to Scully 
and gave their condolences.  Each was, of course, grieving 
themselves, but they knew the special bond and love that 
Mulder and Scully had shared.   They each hugged her 
tightly trying to impart that understanding.

When Scully made her way to the casket, the others backed 
off, giving her some privacy.  Doggett watched from afar as 
well; his concern for her was obvious.   Skinner studied 
him.  He was glad that Doggett was there for her.  He could 
tell that they had gotten closer these past few days.  If it 
couldn't be him, Skinner was glad it was Doggett.  He was a 
good man.

When she first saw Mulder's face, she was surprised how 
natural it looked.  The scars and bruises were covered and 
he looked at peace.  If she didn't know better, she would 
have thought he was just lying there asleep.  She gently 
touched his cheek.  It was cold, hard, and leathery.  He was 
gone.

Tears welled in her eyes as she moved her face close to his.  
She spoke in whispers.  "My sweet Mulder.  I am so sorry 
for what you went through.  I can't imagine the incredible 
pain you endured."  She broke off, unable to speak, thinking 
of all the terrors that had befallen him.  After a few 
moments she continued.  "I have something wonderful to 
tell you.  The invitro worked afterall.  I am carrying your 
baby."  She smiled through her tears and laid her hand on 
her swollen belly.  "You will live through this child and I 
will love him or her more than life itself.  Just like I loved 
you, Mulder.  I loved you, you know.  I never told you, but 
I loved you with all my heart.  I am so sorry I never said it.   
I hope you knew."  With that she leaned toward him and 
kissed his full lips.   A final touch, a final goodbye.  She 
walked away, leaving hot tears on his cold face.

In silence she walked out the door.  Doggett followed her 
out and opened his car door for her.  She sat down.  He 
walked around the car and got in himself.  Silence 
surrounded them.  He took her hand, cradling it in his.  
After several minutes she spoke, "Could you please take me 
home.  I need to be alone."

"Of course," he replied and started the engine.   They drove 
in utter stillness.

Upon arriving, Doggett stopped the engine and turned to 
Scully.  "If you need anything, anything at all, just call."

"Thank you.  You have been such a good friend to me.  But 
right now I just need to be alone.  I'll be okay."  With that 
she stepped out of the car.  "I'll see you tomorrow at the 
funeral."  Then she disappeared into the building.

Doggett drove off, hoping she'd be all right.  He hated to 
leave her, but wanted to give her the space she needed.

It was a long night for both Doggett and Scully.  Doggett 
lay wide-awake in bed, restless.  He missed having Scully 
in his arms lying next to him.  He loved listening to her 
breathing and burying his face into her silky hair while she 
slept.  Two nights and he was already addicted to having 
her in his bed with him.  Of course, he hadn't touched her 
inappropriately.  Not once.  Though he thought about it and 
had to muster all his inner strength not to allow his body to 
respond to those thoughts while she was in his arms.  He 
was falling for her all right.  Big time.

Scully couldn't sleep.  Thoughts of Mulder kept her awake 
and her pain near the surface.  Seeing him today in the 
coffin made his death all the more real.  Tomorrow he 
would go into the earth and she would never be able to gaze 
upon his handsome face again.  She would never see those 
warm hazel eyes, or touch his face, or hold his hand.  These 
losses were so great.   He would be dead and buried.  It was 
over.  She was tempted to call Doggett and go to him for 
relief; relief of these anguished feelings, relief of her 
exhaustion, relief of her mental torture.  But she had to 
prove to herself that she could make it through a night 
alone.

Scully heard the doorbell at 8:00 am sharp.  She hadn't slept 
a wink and now she must face the day.  And what a day it 
was going to be.  She padded to the door and found her 
mother on the other side.

"Oh, Dana, you look awful."  Her mother said with deep 
empathy.  "You didn't sleep, did you?"

"No.  I couldn't," she replied and gave her mom a long hug.

"Well, I'll make sure you get some sleep after the funeral.  
But now go take a nice hot shower and I'll make you a 
hearty breakfast."

"Okay, mom.  Thanks," she said in monotone.

Two hours later the Scully women arrived at the cemetery.  
Many people had already gathered around the coffin.  
Scully was surprised at the large turnout.  She recognized 
several fellow FBI agents.  She was glad that they had 
come.  She and Mrs. Scully took their places at the front, 
nearest the coffin.  Doggett was sitting to her left and took 
her hand the moment she sat down.  He held it throughout 
the ceremony.  He had no idea what great comfort that 
small gesture gave her.

Afterwards, he stood by her as the people came up to her 
one by one to give their condolences.  It was obvious that 
Skinner had been crying.  He told her that he would be 
there for her, always, should she ever need him.  Byers took 
her hand, squeezed it tightly, and nodded.  He could form 
no words.  Frohike gave her a big hug and told her to call 
him.  He'd be there for her.  Langly actually wore a suit.  He 
could only croak out an "I'm so sorry."

After everyone but Doggett and Mrs. Scully had gone, 
Scully went to Mulder's coffin one last time.  She touched it 
and said a silent prayer.  "I will always love you, Mulder," 
she whispered then walked to her mom and Doggett.  Each 
hooked their arms with hers and they walked back to the car 
in silence.

The weeks passed and with each new day, Scully and 
Doggett's friendship grew stronger.   Most of those nights 
were spent in Doggett's bed.  It was unconventional, 
certainly nothing she told others about, but it became a 
necessity for her sanity.  He could calm and soothe her 
when her mind was crazy with grief.  His presence allowed 
her brain to relax enough to fall sleep.  Sleep and calm she 
so need for the health of her unborn child.   She allowed 
him to touch her belly and feel the baby throughout the 
night.  Having his hand there was so comforting, so safe.  
He never made an inappropriate move.  He respected her 
and she him.  But as the weeks wore on, she started to hope 
that he would make a move.  She would find herself 
daydreaming of what it would be like to feel his lips on 
hers, to feel his hands roam her entire body.  Then she 
would be struck with deep guilt.  How could she have loved 
Mulder and be carrying his child yet have such thoughts 
about another man?

Doggett, too, had more than friendship on his mind when it 
came to Scully.  His feelings for her were strong and he 
wanted very much to act on them, but he wasn't sure if she 
was ready.  The last thing he wanted to do was make her 
uncomfortable around him.  But he could tell that with the 
passing time, she was regaining her old strength.  At work 
and to the outside world she was as strong and confident as 
ever.   But with him, she allowed herself to let her guard 
down and just be.  Perhaps it was because he had been 
through a similar situation or perhaps it was just their 
mutual trust and respect.  Whatever it was, he was glad that 
she could come to him freely.

Doggett and Mulder were similar in many ways: both were 
trustworthy, loyal, caring, and intelligent.  But there were 
marked differences as well.  Doggett had a strong sense of 
self and was not one to let life pass him by.  He certainly 
would not make the mistake Mulder had made and not tell 
Scully his feelings for her.  She deserved love and 
commitment and, if she would have him, that was just what 
he was going to give her.

Another week passed and Doggett arranged a little surprise 
for Scully.  "Are you free tomorrow?"  He asked her one 
Friday night as they lay down to sleep.

"Yes," she said, wondering what he was thinking.  "Why do 
you ask?"

"I'd like to spend the day with you tomorrow.  Just the two 
of us.  It's time we got out a little.  We have seen nothing 
but these four walls and the office for the past month.  I 
have some surprises planned," he said with a big smile on 
his face.

She was intrigued.  "Sounds good.  I'm game," she replied 
happily.  They both drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

The following morning Doggett was up very early.  He had 
run to the market, packed a picnic lunch for later and had 
breakfast ready by the time Scully had awoken and finished 
her shower.

Scully was surprised that breakfast was already on the table 
when she walked out of the bedroom.  "John, you're up 
early," she greeted him.  "It smells great!"

"Enjoy.  I'm hoping this whole day will be fun for you," he 
said with a smile.

"So what are we doing?  Where are we going?"  She asked 
curiously.

"All surprises.  You just sit back and enjoy the ride," he 
said with a wink.  She flashed him a huge smile.  It was so 
good to see her smile again.

After breakfast they piled into Doggett's car and drove into 
the country.  The scenery was magnificent, so beautiful and 
serene.  Scully hadn't been out in the country for a long 
time and she soaked in the gorgeous views.  About an hour 
into the drive, Doggett pulled off the main road and onto a 
narrow unpaved path.  After about ten minutes he stopped 
the car.

"Here we are," he said happily.  They were standing in the 
middle of a lush green meadow.  Yellow and white flowers 
bloomed in loose clusters all around.  An occasional tree 
scattered the landscape.  Great, billowing clouds hung in a 
Mediterranean-blue sky.  It was truly a breathtaking view.  
Standing there in the midst of God's glory, it was hard to 
have an anguished heart.  It was as if any earthly burdens 
were magically swept away.

"John, this is so beautiful!"  She exclaimed in awe.  "Thank 
you for bringing me here.  This is just what I needed."  Her 
eyes shone with life.

"I'm glad you like it," he said smiling at her.  Then he 
opened the trunk, took out a blanket and a large picnic 
basket.  He walked to the nearest tree and laid out the 
blanket beneath it, then proceeded to take out the goodies 
from the basket.  "I hope you're hungry."

"Like you even have to ask," she said, patting her swollen 
belly.  The pregnancy had made her hungry almost around 
the clock.

They feasted on ham and cheese croissants, a balsamic 
vinaigrette salad, chocolate dipped strawberries, and 
sparkling cider.  Their conversation was spirited, free and 
full of laughter.   For the first time since Mulder's death 
Scully felt an intense happiness.   She gazed at the 
handsome man before her.  He was so good to her, so 
caring, so loving.  She realized that she would never want 
to know what life would be like without him.  Whether she 
wanted to admit it or not, she was falling in love with him.  

He caught her gazing at him.  "What?"  He asked with a 
smile.

She returned his smile and shook her head.  "Nothing.  I 
was just thinking how lucky I am to have you in my life.  
Thank you for everything."

He scooted closer to her and cupped her face with his hand.  
"I am the lucky one.  And I should be the one to thank you 
for letting me into your life, for letting me laugh with you, 
for letting me cry with you, for letting me feel the life you 
carry inside you.  It is so special to me.  You are so special 
to me."  With that he leaned toward her and brushed his lips 
on hers.  Slowly, tentatively their mouths moved on each 
other savoring the intimate contact.  Their kiss grew deeper 
and they opened themselves up to each other, tasting 
longing and hunger.  Their tongues entwined in a 
harmonious dance of passion, leaving them both breathless 
and wanting.  Doggett lowered her down on the blanket, 
looking straight into her blue eyes.  They were intense and 
ablaze with desire, mirroring his own. 

"I love you, Dana," he said in a low, raw voice.

"I love you too," she said with great emotion as she pulled 
him down into an unhindered, feverish kiss.  Their mouths 
locked in unbridled need, trying to satiate a thirst that could 
not be quenched.  Scully clutched his hair, bringing him as 
close to her as physically possible.  She wanted this man.  
She loved this man.

Suddenly the skies opened and let down a spattering of rain.  
The couple ceased their kisses and looked at each other in 
disbelief.

"Rain?"  Doggett said incredulously.  "What lousy timing!"  
They laughed together.  Then quickly packed up their 
belonging and ran to the shelter of the car.  The moment 
they were safely inside the rain really started to pour.

Still laughing as they sat facing each other in the front seat, 
Doggett wiped the raindrops from Scully's face with his 
fingers. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips were still 
swollen with desire.  She had an untamed gleam in her 
eyes.  

"You are so beautiful," he said in a deep voice.

Here she was disheveled with rain dripping off her hair and 
he thought she was beautiful.  Her heart filled with joy and 
love.  She smiled then took his hand from her face and 
kissed his palm.

He returned her smile then said, "Let's get out of here."  She 
snuggled up besides him and they drove the hour back to 
town in magical silence.

They stopped at a small, intimate restaurant for dinner.  
Seated at a table next to a roaring fire in a brick fireplace 
the two warmed their bodies.  They ordered then Doggett 
reached across the table and took Scully's hand into his 
own.  They gazed into each other's eyes, speaking volumes 
without words.  Doggett was so happy.  Scully returned his 
love!  The kiss they had shared was so profound he knew 
she shared the same intensity of love that he had for her.  
He almost couldn't believe it.  He wanted to dance and sing, 
shout from the rooftops, he was so happy.  He hadn't felt 
this way since the loss of his family and he never thought 
he would have had the privilege to feel this way again.

Scully, too, was deliriously happy.  She felt like she was 
walking on air.  She even had butterflies of excitement and 
anticipation in her stomach, like some love-struck teenager.  
Although guilt reared its ugly head, she knew that Mulder 
would want her to be happy.  She had to think of the future.  
She couldn't let depression, grief and overall melancholy 
take over her life and stifle blooming love.  She had to think 
of her baby and give it the best life possible.  It saddened 
her greatly to think that her baby would never know its 
father and what a wonderful man he was.  She vowed to 
one day tell her child about Mulder and how much Mulder 
would have loved him or her.  But now she would be a 
single mother.  She hoped that Doggett would be a part of 
her baby's life.  Perhaps he would be a permanent part.

As if reading her mind, Doggett asked, "What plans have 
you made so far for the baby?"

She sighed, thinking.  "Well, not too much actually.  I 
haven't even started setting up a nursery."  Suddenly she felt 
overwhelmed with the amount of preparation she had to 
complete in the next few months.

"How about we go shopping for baby stuff tomorrow," he 
offered.

"You, shopping?"  She laughed.

"Hey!" He said with a smile.  "You know, I do have some 
experience in that area."

She smiled back.   "You would be the perfect shopping 
partner.  I'm sure you know a lot more about cribs and 
diapers and all the millions of other things babies need than 
I do."

"Great.  It's settled then.  We'll go tomorrow.  And if we're 
lucky we'll even have the whole nursery set up before 
dinner."

"Now that would take a huge burden off my shoulders if we 
got all that accomplished!"  She said.  "Thank you, John."

"What about names.  Have you thought of any?"  He asked.

"Well, since I don't know the baby's gender, I have been 
looking through a lot of baby name books for both boy and 
girl names.  The first name I'm having a hard time with.  I'm 
thinking of maybe Julia, Lauren, or Natalie for a girl and 
maybe Brian, Austin, or Brandon for a boy.   But the 
middle name is easy.  I want to honor the baby's father.  If I 
have a girl, it will be Samantha after Mulder's sister.  If I 
have a boy, it will be William, Mulder's own middle name.  
I'd use his first name, but he hated it so much, it just 
wouldn't be right.  So how does Julia Samantha Scully or 
Brian William Scully sound to you?"  She asked.

"They all sound great," he said, but hoped that perhaps one 
day Doggett would be on the end of those names.  
"Whatever you choose will be wonderful."

They finished their meal with more light-hearted 
conversation and lots of laughter.

Doggett drove them to Scully's apartment and walked her 
up.  He unlocked her door for her and they walked in.

"I had a wonderful day with you, John.  Everything was 
perfect."  She gave him a glowing smile.  She was so 
gorgeous when she smiled.

"I had a great time too," he said, leaning down and 
capturing her mouth with his.  The moment their lips met, 
the passion that had been building up since their last kiss 
was unleashed full force.  They clung to each other in 
heated desire.

After several intense moments, Doggett pulled himself 
away from her slightly.  Catching his breath, he said in a 
low, rough voice, "I better go."

"Yeah," Scully reluctantly agreed.  They both knew that if 
they shared a bed that night, the temptation would be too 
great.  And Doggett wanted to make sure that she was 
ready, that she just wasn't giving in to the moment.  It had 
to be right; he wanted their relationship to last a lifetime.

They fell into another kiss, but this one was tender and 
slow, filled with profound love.  "I love you so much," 
Doggett breathed.

She melted in his arms.  "And I love you, John," she 
whispered, her voice laced with deep emotion.  They pulled 
apart and he left, leaving her with a racing heart and weak 
knees.  She had to fight the urge to call him back.  Her need 
for him was so great.  But she knew, that at least for one 
night, she had to prove to herself that she could be all alone 
and sleep in peace.  She wanted to know for certain that her 
love was for him and not because of some dependence on 
her part.

By morning she had her undeniable answer.  She loved 
John Doggett with all her heart and soul.  She loved him for 
who he was, for how he treated her, for how he made her 
feel.  He was a man of strength and courage, one who 
showed his love and desire for her in no uncertain terms. 

She had missed him throughout the night, but whenever 
she'd awaken she'd just think of him and his love and fall 
back into slumber.  It was like he was there, with his arms 
around her, protecting her from the demons of grief and 
despair.  She was lying in bed with a big smile on her face, 
thinking of him when the phone rang, interrupting her 
reverie.

"Good morning, Dana," Doggett said cheerily.  "How'd you 
sleep?"

Her face brightened at the sound of his voice.  "Pretty well, 
actually.  I woke up a couple times during the night, but I 
just thought about you and everything was okay.  Just 
knowing that you love me, got me through it.  I missed you 
though.  So much!"

"I missed you too.  It was really hard for me to get any 
sleep without you." 

"John, hurry up and get over here.  I can't wait to see you," 
she said with a sudden urgency.  She couldn't wait to be in 
his arms again and feel his mouth on hers.

"I'll be there in 15 minutes," he said.

"Wait!"  She said hoping he hadn't hung up yet.  "I love 
you."

John Doggett smiled.  "I love you too."  He hung up, 
grabbed his keys and almost ran to his car.  He couldn't wait 
to see her either.  He was so in love.  And after talking to 
her this morning, he knew that she truly loved him too.    

Their day together flew by.  They shopped hand in hand, 
sneaking in little kisses here and there, and talking to 
various sales people about cribs, changing tables, carseats 
and their various safety aspects.   They were so obviously in 
love that a couple of the sales people actually referred to 
him as the father of the baby.  When Doggett tried to 
correct them, Scully squeezed his hand and shushed him, 
letting the people think it was true.  He was very moved by 
this gesture.  He could easily picture them a real family and 
it was apparent that Scully could as well.

They bought everything they needed for the nursery and by 
late that evening, it all stood, completely assembled, in the 
baby's room.  The two of them stood with their arms around 
each other admiring their hard work.

"It looks great," Doggett said proudly.

"And I owe it all to you," Scully said gratefully.  "Thanks 
so much."  She stood on her tiptoes and gave him a quick 
kiss.  He grabbed her and deepened it.  Suddenly the baby 
kicked.

"I think baby approves," Scully said with a smile, patting 
her tummy.

"Of the room or of us?" he asked mischievously. 

"Both.  Definitely of both," she said and pulled him into 
another kiss.  He responded with unhindered passion.  As 
their kiss grew, so did their desire.  His hands roamed her 
body, feeling the curve of her belly, the length of her thigh, 
the swell of her breasts.  Her heart pounded in wild desire 
and her soul opened up to him in abandon.  He pressed her 
closer and she could feel him hard against her thigh.  She 
moved herself against him and he moaned.  She ran her 
hands down his long, firm body, letting one linger on his 
groin.  She stroked him through his jeans and felt him 
tighten even more.

"Dana," he said in a hoarse whisper, "You've got to stop."  
If she touched him anymore like that, he was afraid he 
wouldn't be able to control himself.

"Make love to me, John," she breathed into his ear with 
urgency.  She wanted him more than she'd ever wanted 
anyone.

"You're sure?"  He asked, his voice quivering from the fiery 
need that racked his body.

"Completely," she said without hesitation and led him to 
her bedroom.

Their lovemaking was unparalleled.  It was fierce, needy, 
and infused with feverish desire.  They explored every inch 
of each other, leaving nothing untouched.   The rest of the 
night was spent making love, sleeping a bit here and there.

As the sun's first rays marked a new day, Scully and 
Doggett woke up together for the first time as lovers.  
Scully smiled as Doggett traced a lazy finger over her 
swelled belly and swollen breasts.  "You are so beautiful," 
he said, admiring her voluptuous form.

"John, you don't have to say that.  I know I'm huge right 
now.  No waist and overly-large boobs is not what I'd call 
beautiful," she said suddenly shy.  She pulled the sheet up 
and covered herself. 

"No, not beautiful, " he said.  "Gorgeous.  Absolutely 
gorgeous.  That's what you are to me."  He pulled the sheet 
down and laid his hand on her expanding stomach then 
continued, "I don't have to tell you what a miracle this baby 
is.  That there is a life growing inside you, a little person 
that is half you, that is amazing and beautiful to me.

A tear trickled down Scully's cheek; she was deeply 
touched.  "You are beautiful, John.  I love you with all my 
heart."

"I love you, Dana.  I always will."  He sealed his words 
with a tender, sensual kiss.

The months passed and Scully and Doggett grew closer 
each day.  It was a rare occasion that they did not see each 
other for a day, let alone a night.  Others noted how 
inseparable they were as well and the office was filled with 
gossip about who the father of Scully's baby was.  Was it 
Mulder or was it Doggett?  The people debated this topic on 
a daily basis and gave Scully demeaning stares.  Scully 
didn't let it bother her.  She was too happy in her life to let 
any scuttlebutt get in the way.  But being the traditional and 
honorable man that he was, it disturbed Doggett deeply.  He 
did not want the woman he loved looked down upon.  She 
deserved respect.

Scully was nearing her due date and had just started her 
maternity leave.   She was enjoying her last few lazy days 
before her world would change forever.  It was on one of 
these days that Doggett took Scully on a drive.

"Why won't you tell me where we are headed," Scully 
asked as she and Doggett drove out of the city.

"Because then it wouldn't be a surprise," he said with grin.

After a while, Scully had a pretty good idea where they 
were going.  She smiled and asked, "Are we going to our 
special place in the meadow?"

"Yes," he responded.

Upon arrival they laid out a blanket under the same tree as 
before and ate a picnic lunch.  After finishing their meal, 
Doggett sat directly in front of Scully and said, "I thought it 
was appropriate to bring you back to this special place 
where we first kissed.   That day was one of the best in my 
life, because I professed my love for you and you returned 
it.  Being with you, being a part of your life has made me 
happier than I ever thought I could be.  There are no words 
to describe the depth of my love for you.  I love you more 
than anything.  I love this baby you are carrying and want 
to be a father to him or her."  He paused, collecting his 
emotions, then continued, "Dana, will you do me the honor 
and be my wife?"

By now, tears had formed in Scully's eyes and she answered 
without hesitation, "Yes, John, I will be your wife.  I will 
marry you."

That's all he wanted to hear.  He wrapped his arms around 
her and brought her lips to his in a heart-rending kiss.  Then 
he presented her with the most exquisite diamond solitaire 
ring she had ever seen.

She was speechless.  It was at least two carats large, shaped 
in a brilliant round, and set in platinum.  "It's beautiful," she 
whispered when she finally caught her breath.  He slipped it 
on her finger and it fit perfectly.  "How did you know what 
size I'd be?  None of my other rings even fit me now, I'm so 
bloated."

"I have my ways," he said mysteriously.  "And after the 
baby is born, we can have it sized down.  I wanted you to 
be able to wear it now as well as a symbol of my 
unconditional love and commitment."

She was in tears.  How could she be so lucky to have this 
most wonderful, honorable, and incredibly handsome man 
love her so much?  Amazing how her life had changed in a 
relatively short time, from thinking it was over with the 
death of Mulder, to having it begin again with Doggett.  "I 
love it!  I love you!  I can't wait to be your wife and be a 
family.  I know you will be a terrific dad.  And I thank you 
for accepting this 'package deal'".

"I wouldn't want it any other way.  You and the baby are all 
I need.  We are going to have a great life," he said beaming 
with joy.  "Now, the only question left is, when do you 
want to get married?  I am leaving that up to you."

Scully didn't have to think hard on that one.  "How short of 
an engagement can we have?"

He smiled and gathered her into his arms.  "I'll be ready 
tomorrow, if you want."

"Then tomorrow it is!  I just hope Junior here will wait to 
be born until after our wedding night.  I'd hate to have to 
postpone it until after my six-week postpartum exam," she 
said with a twinkle in her eye.

"Well, let's get in all the practice we can now.  And there's 
no time like the present," he said, drawing her into a 
burning kiss.  They made love in the meadow, under the 
tree, in their special place, and all was at peace in their 
world.

The next day they married at Scully's church.  Fr. McCue 
was very accommodating given the incredibly short notice.  
The ceremony was simple and the only guests were Mrs. 
Scully, Skinner, the Gunmen and Doggett's parents and 
brother.  But it was perfect and the couple was so happy 
and so in love.  They had said their vows just in time 
because the following afternoon Scully delivered a healthy 
baby girl.  They named her Julia Samantha Doggett.  Now 
they were a little family and nothing could make them 
happier.


THE END