Title: Dinner... and Some Answers
Author: Moose
E-mail: the1moose@mediaone.net
Rating: PG-13 for a few bad words
Category: DSF, maybe a tiny bit of UST, very tiny.  Diversion from canon.
MSR types, rabid Mulderists, and BarbieShippers, this one's not for you.
You've been warned.
Summary:  Scully finally gives Doggett the answers to some questions, but
not the ones he thought he wanted to ask.
Spoilers:  Yup. lots of 'em.  Up to and including S8
Disclaimer:  Does it really need to be said that they're not mine, I'm just
taking them out for a spin.  I'll bring 'em back when I'm done, promise.
Archive:  Just tell me so I can come visit it.
Author's Notes:  :::deep breath:::  Long time reader, first time poster.
I've been writing fanfiction before I was old enough to know what it was
(anyone old enough to remember the cartoon G-Force?), but never, ever, have
I posted any for anyone else to read.  Feedback is a welcome, highly sought
after commodity, constructive criticism also welcomed, but flames will be
put into storage for the coming winter.  Also, big shouts out to my fellow
SHODDSters, who's collective writing talent is a wondrous thing.  You guys
rock!!



Friday
J. Edgar Hoover Building

     Scully sat at her desk, looking off across the room at nothing in
particular, lost in her own thoughts.  A pencil rested loosely in between
her fingers, tapping erratically against the desk blotter.  Her desk lamp
cast gloomy shadows in the small basement office.
    Her gaze wandered to the empty desk across the room.  Its occupant had
left. her eyebrows furrowed slightly.  How long had she sat like this, she
wondered, seeking out the clock.  45 minutes, nearly six o'clock.  He was
home by now, she was sure.  She sighed deeply, changing positions in her
chair.
     Agent Doggett was not a bad man, she knew.  He had proved to be loyal,
despite being assigned to her by Kersch.  Scully smiled faintly.  Hadn't
Blevens assigned her to Mulder all those years ago?  She had proved her
loyalty to him, and Mulder had trusted her.  Wasn't it about time to show
Doggett the same?  Even the Gunmen had given their stamp of approval,
impressed with Doggett's "leaps" during the Tipet murders.  It was time he
learned the truth.
     She had been thinking about it all day, about the particulars.  Her
periods of seeming inattention had earned her long looks from said partner,
but she had offered no explanations.  Scully supposed he was used to that by
now, which really wasn't fair either.
     Scully picked up the phone and before she could change her mind again,
punched the speed dial to Doggett's cell phone.

     Agent John Doggett had just tossed his coat onto the back of the couch
and was heading for the fridge for a cold beer when he heard the twitter of
his cell phone.
     "Damn..." he muttered beneath his breath, heading back for his coat.
He
found it on the third ring and stabbed the receive button without bothering
to look at the Caller ID.  "Yeah."
     "Agent Doggett?"
     Of course it was her, he'd known it before he'd answered the call.
"Agent Scully, what can I do for ya?"
     There was a short pause.  "Are you busy?  I mean, tonight, do you have
plans?"
     Doggett frowned.  He'd just spent all day with her, and now she was
asking what his plans were?  "Uh, no.  Just gonna catch the Rangers game on
ESPN.  Why, what's up?"
     Another pause.  Jesus, what was the matter with her today?  She was
usually direct with him, almost to the point of being rude sometimes, and
now she was hesitant?  "Can you come to my apartment?"
     Of all the things she could have said, that was the last thing he
expected.  That was her turf, and she was inviting him into it.  Willingly,
without a weapon aimed at her head.  "Uh..." geez, he probably sounded like
a moron.  "Are you there right now?"
     "No, I'm still at the office, just getting ready to leave.  Can you
come?"
     Was the Pope a Catholic?  "Yeah, sure.  When?"
     "Seven o'clock."  Doggett checked his watch.  "Do you know where it
is?"
     "Yeah, I do," he replied, heading up the stairs.  He figured he had
enough time for a quick shower first.  His next words came before he could
stop them.  "Agent Scully, what's this all about?"
     He swore he could hear her smile through the phone.  "Just dinner...
and some answers."
     The line went dead.  Son of a bitch!  "About goddamned time," he said,
tossing the phone on the bed.  Grabbing a clean towel, Doggett headed for
the bathroom.

     Scully could see the wheels turning in Doggett's head as she stood.
She knew she caught him off guard with her invitation.  She still wasn't
convinced it was the best plan, either, but the office was too comfortable
for him now.  He was beginning to regard it as part his, evidenced by a few
belongings left on the desk.  No, she needed him in her territory, just a
little off guard, and only her apartment would suffice.
     Scully shrugged into her coat before picking up the phone again.  She
had promised him a meal, and there was nothing in her apartment that she
could make in the allotted time to feed two people.  Bachelor that he was,
Scully supposed he wouldn't care, so long as it was hot.  She had a craving
for take out anyway, she thought with a small smile.  Giving her order,
Scully hung up the phone and grabbed two files from the bottom drawer of her
desk.  She gave them a long look before putting them into her briefcase.
The ball has been set in motion, she thought as she took a last look around.
Putting any lingering doubts aside, she snapped out the light and headed
home.

7:00pm
Georgetown

     Scully had had enough time to change into a loose fitting pair of
slacks and an oversized sweater and start pulling cartons out of the bag
when there was a knock at the door.  She glanced at the clock on her way to
the door - nothing if not prompt.  A glance through the peephole confirmed
her guest had arrived.
     "Agent Doggett," she said after undoing the locks and opening her door.
     He stood at her threshold, wearing a worn but comfortable black leather
coat, partially unzipped to reveal a dark blue sweater, jeans and sneakers.
He held out a brown paper bag, saying, "Mom always said don't come empty
handed."
     Scully accepted the offering and moved to one side.  "Come in," she
said, before looking into the bag.  Inside was a pint of Ben & Jerry's
World's Best Vanilla ice cream.  She raised her eyebrows as her partner
entered her apartment and shut the door.  "You know, most men would've
brought a bottle of wine."
     Doggett shrugged.  "What can I say, I'm not most men."  His attempt at
humor failed miserably, he noted, and quickly tried again.  "I just thought
that you and I aren't on those types of terms, where I could show up at your
door with a bottle of wine, ya know?"
     Doggett was blessed with the smallest of Scully-smiles.  "Good call,
Agent."  She turned toward to kitchen.  "Just put your coat anywhere."
     He had the feeling she was deliberately trying to keep him off balance.
Don't worry, Agent Scully, he thought, just being in your lair is enough to
keep me off kilter.  He saw a door next to him ajar, and a quick glance
confirmed it was a closet.  Taking off his coat, he reached for a hanger and
surveyed his surroundings.
     The living room had an open feel, with its hardwood floors, airy yet
calm color scheme and overstuffed living room set.  There were a few
knickknacks scattered on tables and shelves, and a handful of photos on the
sofa table.  Doggett was curious about the people in those pictures, but
didn't dare walk across the room to see.
     "Agent Doggett?"
     He was snapped out of his musings by Scully's voice.  "Coming," he
called, hanging up his coat and heading in the direction he had seen Scully
headed.
     "I hope you like Chinese," she said without turning around, setting out
plates.
     He stopped in the doorway.  "Y'mean there's someone on the planet who
doesn't?  That should be an X-File."
     He was graced with a second Scully-smile.  "I take that as a yes.  Sit
down," she gestured.  "Would you like a drink?"
     Doggett entered her kitchen, but instead of sitting down, went to her
fridge and opened the door.  He saw Scully stiffen slightly at this and
thought, 'Ha, now you're the one off balance.'  He quickly surveyed the
contents - lots of vegetables, fruits, leftovers labeled in small
containers.  Lots of bottled water - he didn't know they came in flavors -
and bottles of juice and ginger ale.  "What can I get ya?" he asked, still
looking in the fridge.
     "Water's fine," she answered, watching him, wondering what conclusions
he was reaching by his scrutiny of her fridge.
     "Uh, could you be a little more specific?  Ya got about five different
flavors in here.  What ever happened to plain?"
     "Orange would be fine."
     Doggett came to the table with two bottles of orange flavored water and
put one down at Scully's plate.  Taking the seat across from her plate,
Doggett cracked the cap and, ignoring his glass, took a long drink.  "Not
bad.  I could drink this."
     Scully sat down and gestured for Doggett to help himself.  "Not a water
drinker?"
     "Nah.  Oh, I know you should be, eight glasses a day and all that," he
answered, spooning a large helping of fried rice onto his plate.  "But, hey.
I drink it during my workouts, and that's enough for me."
     Scully kept their conversation light, although she could see Doggett
chomping at the bit.  He understood her game and went along, did his best to
make her smile.  Laughing seemed out of the question.  For her part, Scully
noted that Doggett didn't begin his meal until she did, asked her if she
wanted seconds before helping himself to some.  Doggett took note that
Scully ate nearly as much as he did.
     As they finished the last of the ice cream, the silence began to grow
uncomfortable.  Finally, Doggett spoke up.  "So..." he hesitated, uncertain
how to proceed.
     Scully met his eyes briefly before standing up.  "In here," she nodded
toward the living room.
     "Do you want me to help you clean up first?"
     Scully shook her head.  "I'll take care of it.  You came for some
answers, and I think it's about time you had them."
     Doggett followed Scully into the living room and dutifully sat on the
couch where she indicated he should sit.  He didn't speak; sensing any words
on his part would be unwelcome.  Instead, he sat on the edge of the cushion,
waiting for her to speak.
     Scully took a deep breath, but found she couldn't look at him, into
those piercing blue eyes that were waiting for what she offered.  "When you
were first assigned to the X-Files, you told me you read all the files, the
ones that survived the fire."
     There was a silence that seemed to require a comment from him.  "That's
right."
     Scully walked over to her desk where her briefcase sat.  Opening it,
she pulled out two files, one thicker than the other.  Coming over to stand
in front of him, she gave the files a long look, considering something.
Doggett held his breath, sensing this was significant.  Finally she met his
gaze, and he saw resolve mixed with wariness.  "You didn't read these two."
     She handed them to him carefully.  Doggett turned them around and read
the cover of the first one, the thicker one.  He couldn't hide his surprise,
couldn't stop his words.  "This has your name on it!"  He looked up in
wonder, and she once again couldn't - wouldn't? - meet his eyes.
     "Read it first, it helps to explain the second one.  I'm going to clean
up."
     Doggett watched her leave the room and felt the weight of these two
files in his hands seemingly increase.  Where had these come from?  Well,
that was obvious, she had kept them hidden from him.  He felt a hot flash of
anger at being kept out of the loop - again!  That anger left as quickly as
it came as he looked down.  Scully's name -  his partner not only worked on
the X-Files, but also was an X-File.  For a person who guarded her privacy
as fiercely as she did, it was no wonder she had stashed her own file.
Curious, he glanced at the second, slimmer, file.  'Emily Sims', it read.
Who was she, he wondered?  But Scully had said to read her own first, so
Doggett placed the other carefully at his side and opened the X-File on
Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully.

     Scully had practically run into the kitchen, the urge to take those
files back nearly overwhelming her.  Leaning against the counter, she took a
deep breath, eyes shut.  The adrenaline pumping through her body made her
hands shake. 'Fight or flight' response, she knew.  Right now she felt like
bolting out the door, down the steps and never coming back.
     She heard pages turning and tried to turn her mind away from what
Doggett must be thinking.  She'd been wrong to keep the truth from him, she
recognized.  But in fairness to herself, she hadn't known if he could be
trusted.  At what point had Mulder decided to trust her?  Not at the
beginning, certainly, although he'd always been honest.  Unlike the
beginning of this partnership...
     Scully sighed and pushed away from the counter, cleaning up the remains
of dinner.  She and Doggett had both been less than honest with each other,
and it was time to stop.  John Doggett was, well, he wasn't Mulder, and it
was unfair for Scully to expect him to be.  She'd been treating him like the
stepfather who was trying his best but was still rejected because he wasn't
Daddy.
     More pages turning...  Scully turned the water on the block out the
sound, and turned back to putting her thoughts in order about the man
reading her history.  Doggett was skeptical about their cases, but hadn't
she been, too?  Scully knew deep down she was trying to assume Mulder's
vision on these cases, and doing it badly.  So why did she keep expecting
Doggett to accept her views?  Did she ever accept Mulder's views so easily?
Or Mulder hers, for that matter?  She snorted lightly - no, never that.
Scully noted she had seemingly developed a knack for attracting partners who
didn't believe her views, no matter which stance she took.  She smiled at
that ridiculous thought.
     Scully finished loading the dishwasher and closed the door.  No noise
from the living room.  Quietly, Scully tiptoed tot he doorway and peeked
out.  Doggett sat on the edge of her couch, her own file spread out on her
coffee table, Emily's still unopened next to him.  The thought of Emily
caused Scully to unconsciously put a hand over her lower abdomen.
      Her eyes turned to the man sitting in her living room.  Doggett was
deep in concentration, his brow furrowed.  Not for the first time she was
struck with the thought that Agent John Doggett was a handsome man, but for
the first time she allowed that thought to linger.
     He wasn't handsome in the classical sense, but had rather a rugged
masculine appeal.  With that spiky hair, ice blue eyes and callused hands.
Scully bit back a hormonally induced sigh and finally pushed that thought
away.  Doggett reached for the other file and Scully turned away from the
door.

     Doggett had become so absorbed in his reading that he had lost all
sense of time and place.  Like most of the X-Files, the two before him were
nearly impossible to believe.  Except they both featured his partner, who
until recently was as much of a skeptic as he.  But the evidence was here -
DNA tests, police and FBI reports, medical data.  With a sigh he sat back
against the cushion, only to see his partner sitting across from him,
waiting expectantly.
     "How long have you been sitting there?" he asked, running a hand
through his hair.
     "Not long."  She handed him a bottle of water, which he drank quickly.
Their eyes met for a moment before Scully looked away.  "I hope you
understand why I kept these. separate from the other files.  I didn't know
if I could trust you."
     Doggett nodded slowly.  "And now?"
     "We didn't get off to the best start, did we Agent Doggett?"
     Doggett grinned at the memory of a cup of water in his face.  "No,
can't say that we did."  He paused.  "And now?"
     "Now?"  She looked at him.  "I think it's time we changed that, time I
changed that."  Doggett nodded, pleased.  Scully continued.  "I showed you
these files so that you would understand."
     "Understand?  Understand which part?"
     "Understand that I meant what I said.  That it's time we started
working together like partners, that I show you that I do trust you.  That
you understand what I'm going to tell you."
     Doggett sat forward slightly.  "There's more?"  Scully nodded.  "I
don't know how much more there could be."
     "You should know by now, Agent Doggett, that there is always more when
it comes to the X-Files."
     Doggett let out a short barking laugh.  "Yeah, okay.  So help me
understand the rest of it."
     "I'll try, although I don't know if I fully understand it myself."
Scully took a drink and couldn't meet her partner's eyes.  "Right after
Mulder disappeared, I discovered... that is, I found out..." her voice
faltered.
     Doggett reached out to touch her, to comfort her in some way, but drew
back at the last moment, uncertain if his touch would be welcome.  Instead
he spoke softly, using his voice instead of his touch to soothe her.  "If
this is too difficult for you..."
     Scully shook her head.  "No, you need to know."  She took a deep
breath.  "I'm pregnant."
     Doggett sat completely still, utterly shocked.  He opened his mouth to
speak, but made no sound.  Scully couldn't help but grin at his look of
astonishment.  "I see that I've rendered you speechless for once."
     "That's impossible!"
     "What, your being speechless?"
     "You can't be pregnant."
     "I assure you that I am.  I've had ultrasounds done..."
     "Agent Scully, I just sat here and read your file from cover to cover
and back again.  Now correct me if I'm wrong here, but from what I
understand, your abduction at whoever's hands not only left you with cancer,
a cancer that almost killed you, but left you barren as well.  Did I
misunderstand something?"
     "Emily was my child."
     "Yeah, but you didn't give birth to her.  According to this file," he
picked up the smaller file for emphasis, "you didn't know of her existence
until she was six years old.  You initially thought she was your sister's
child!"
     "I know.  Emily was an. experiment, using eggs obtained from my ovaries
during experiments done on me when I was abducted."
     "Your report stated that, I understand that.  Those bastards that took
you treated you like some kind of animal..." Doggett struggled for words to
express his feelings, and found there were none.  He threw his hands up in
the air with his frustration.  "How is this possible?  Were they wrong about
being barren?"
     "No."
     "But..."
     "Agent Doggett, let me assure you that the tests correct.  I was left
sterile by those experiments."
     "And now you're pregnant."  Scully nodded.  Doggett sat with his hands
clasped in front of him, silent, trying to make sense of what he was being
told.  He couldn't.  Finally he looked up at Scully.  "Help me here, Agent
Scully.  If these experiments left you sterile, how is it you're sittin' in
front of me, tellin' me you're not?"
     "Several months ago, Mulder told me that he had recovered a vial of
what he believed to be my ova on an earlier case.  He'd had them tested and
was told they weren't viable, and so didn't tell me of what he'd
discovered."
     "That wasn't fair."  Doggett said the words without thinking, and
cringed, waiting for Scully to leap to Mulder's defense.
     It continued to be a night for shockers.  "No, it wasn't.  He should've
told me right away.  Mulder was always trying to protect me, even when I
didn't need it."  A pause.  "At any rate, when he did tell me, I had them
checked myself.  I was told that while most of them had been destroyed, some
were viable, but not for much longer."
     Doggett nodded.  "So you and Mulder decided to..."
     Scully cut him off.  "Whoa.  Who said Mulder was a part of this?"
     "I'm sorry, I just assumed. I guess that's been the problem between you
and me, too many assumptions."
     "You've nailed it on the head, Agent Doggett," said Scully with a
smile.  "Actually, when I decided to go forward, I asked Mulder to be the
donor.  He...ah, he...."
     "He said no," finished Doggett.  Fox Mulder, Doggett decided, was a
damn fool.
     Flushing, Scully nodded, recalling the memory of that afternoon.  It
had taken a lot of courage to even ask him, and she had been very
embarrassed, more than she had ever been in her life, when Mulder had turned
her down.  Oh, he'd let her down gently, said all the right things, but in
the end Scully had been mortified to know how badly she'd misread Mulder.
"I wouldn't want this to come between us, Scully," he'd said.  That was the
moment when Scully realized that what she wanted from Mulder and what Mulder
wanted were not one in the same.  So she'd accepted his reasoning with
lowered eyes and allowed him to beat a hasty retreat.
     Scully brought herself back to the present.  "So I went ahead with an
anonymous donor.  Do you know much about in vitro fertilization, Agent
Doggett?"
     "Yeah, quite a bit."  It wasn't the response she'd expected, and she
raised an eyebrow in question.  "Some other time, Agent Scully."
     Scully studied her partner a moment before nodding sharply, as if
making a mental note to take him up on it someday.  "Because I had a very
limited number of ova left, I had two attempts over a 3 month period.  Both
attempts failed."
     Doggett shook his head and finally rose from his seat in frustration.
"Dammit, none of this makes any sense, Scully!"
     "I know, because I don't fully understand it myself.  The two attempts
with my own ova and an anonymous donor failed, the blood tests confirmed
that.  But three months later," she spread her hands out expressively, "I
was in a hospital bed being told I was about 4 weeks pregnant."
     Doggett paced the floor.  "And what do the doctor's say, what's their
take?"
     "Because my ova had been frozen - something that current medical
science states is not possible at this time - the best explanation we can
come up with is that the embryo went into a state of suspended animation."
     Doggett tilted his head, studying her.  "You don't sound too confident
in that theory."
     "It's the best theory I've got," she answered in roundabout fashion.
     Doggett studied the pattern of the wood in the sofa table in silence,
absorbing all he'd been told.  It was quite a tale, and had it come from
anyone else, he would've dismissed it as fantasy.  But this was Scully,
perhaps the most serious person he'd ever met.  She didn't have it in her to
make something like this up.  And to what end?
     He looked up to find his partner studying him.  "Anyone else know?"
     "You mean at the Bureau?  Just Skinner, and now yourself.  I would
appreciate it, Agent Doggett, if you didn't..."
     He held up a hand.  "Say no more.  I would never betray a confidence,
Agent Scully."
     Somehow she knew he would say that.  "I know."
     There was silence for a few moments before Doggett cleared his throat.
"Well, it's getting' kinda late. I should be goin'.  I've got a lot to think
about."
     Scully rose gracefully from her seat and walked with Doggett towards
her front door.  Watched in silence as he retrieved his coat and shrugged
into it.  "Agent Doggett..."
     "Dontcha think it's time we dropped the whole 'Agent' thing?" he asked
softly.
     A small Scully-smile.  "I think that would be... appropriate... after
tonight."
     Doggett chuckled.  "Yeah, I think it would."  After a moment's
hesitation, Doggett reached out & laid a hand on Scully's arm.  She looked
up and met his eyes.  "I appreciate you confidin' in me, Scully.  More than
you realize."
     Damn, but his eyes were a fantastic shade of blue... "Your welcome,
Ag...Doggett."  He smiled at her before giving her arm a gentle squeeze, and
Scully pushed away the twinge of disappointment when he let go.  "I'll see
you Monday."
     "Good night, Scully."  He opened the door.
     "Good night."  Scully shut the door softly behind him and threw the
locks.
     Slowly she made her way across the room and sat where Doggett had been
a few minutes before.  Tracing an abstract pattern across the cover of her
own file, Scully felt as if a small part of the burden she'd been carrying
alone for so long had been lifted and shared.  She had made the right
decision to take Doggett into her confidence.  Her only regret was that she
hadn't done it sooner.
     She stifled a yawn as she rose, turning off the lights.  Scully was
sure Doggett was having a difficult time, processing everything she'd told
him and others that she'd left implied.  Now, however, she was certain he
could, no, would, stand by her in what was to come.

     Doggett watched her apartment from the cab of his truck until the
lights went out before he turned over the engine.
     Jesus, he needed a drink.  She'd given him answers, alright, but they
were to questions he hadn't known to ask.
     And now what was he left with?  A still missing Fox Mulder, with no
further insight into how or why he disappeared.  A partner who'd just dumped
a whole pile of information literally in his lap.  He'd barely begun to
process her abduction, her cancer, when she dropped the other bombshell.
Pregnant.  By means not entirely certain.  A tiny part of him acknowledged
he was glad the father wasn't Mulder, and perhaps even more relieved to hear
Scully confirm that she and Mulder weren't "emotionally involved".  A small
spark of hope ignited deep in his breast.
     Doggett sighed and then stifled a yawn.  Putting the truck in gear, he
pulled away from the curb.  He was certain he would be awake half the night
turning this over in his mind.  But knowing that Scully trusted him enough
now to tell him the truth had him feeling good about this partnership for
the first time since he landed this assignment.
     And the truth shall set you free... The saying popped into Doggett's
head unbidden.  He couldn't recall who said it, or even if he was recalling
it properly.  But in this case the truth only bound him closer to Scully.
There was no way he would let her stand alone to face to future - not now,
not ever.
    Like you ever would have, said his inner voice.  Doggett grinned to
himself.  One more thing to think about... but not tonight.

/