TITLE: Man Overboard (1/1) AUTHOR: Anne Hedonia RATING: PG CLASSIFICATION: My preferred ending for the first scene in "Alone", DSR, Lightly RST, Doggett POV SPOILERS: Generally up through Season 8, and it won't make a lot of sense if you haven't seen "Alone". SUMMARY: Instead of having Agent Harrison walk in after Scully left, I would have rather this happened. Much rather. :) AUTHOR'S NOTE: A very quickly-conceived-and-written, un-betaed sequel to my fic, "Man Alive". The occurrences in this fic pretty much wouldn't happen without the occurrences in that one. Prolly oughta read it first. Feed me, feed me! And do it at ahedonia@yahoo.com. As always, 'Shippers and Mulderites beware. Run away, in fact. 'Dippers, gather 'round. --------------------- I can still see her sad blue eyes gazing at me, above her faint smile. I hear my question of a moment ago, repeating in my head: <"This is just a leave, isn't it? I mean, you are coming back?"> They say silence is golden, but her silence at that moment felt pretty much like lead to me. Or maybe that was just the feel of my heart hitting the floor, after her kind words and her embrace had sent it on a dizzy flight barely a few moments earlier. I drift around the office, feeling her sudden absence as my heart pounds, trying to find a bright side to hang onto. Okay, she's making no promises about what will happen after her baby's born. That makes sense. Things change, especially because of babies, I understand that. But there's no reason to assume she won't be in touch, that she'll be gone from my life just because she doesn't come into the same office every morning. I know we haven't talked about...well, *us*...any further since that conversation in the parking lot, but that's not to say it didn't matter. I've felt it hanging there between us ever since, lurking in her smiles and in her shy, polite manner around me. If she'd changed her mind, found her feelings weren't the same, she'd...she'd tell me...wouldn't she? It occurs to me in a flash that she might very well not. She's an escape artist, big time. I wince as the idea sucker-punches me. A cop's instinct for human nature is not always a blessing. I hear footsteps. Made by a woman's shoes. Clicking down the hall, this way. My heart leaps into my throat again, in a somewhat pathetic reaction: more time with her. My brain says that I have no guarantee her return will be beneficial to me, or even pleasant, but my emotions don't care. All that matters is that our estrangement is put off, however briefly. I move toward the door, a much bigger smile on my face than is seemly. "You're not gone five minutes, Agent Scully, and already I feel like a stranger in my own off-" I see her, and her demeanor surprises me into silence. She's walking with her head slightly down, and utterly focused, single-minded. Scully moves through the doorway with a determination that makes Sherman's run through Atlanta look like a sightseeing tour. She turns and closes the door pointedly. I have no idea what's going on. Like that's news. "Agent Scu-" I begin. I never finish. When she turns from the door, her eyes lock onto mine with all the worry and fear I've ever seen, as though she's a drowning woman and I hold the only life preserver in existence. She grabs my face in both her soft little hands and pulls it down to hers, her lips landing solidly on mine. Oh, Jesus God. The softness, the astonishing softness of her perfect mouth is my only focal point as my whole world spins. My hands reach into her hair before I can stop them, but she doesn't object. A moment ago I was losing her. Then she came back, and I braced myself for everything I could think of but this. Strange how when you try to anticipate what a person might do, enacting of one of your sweetest fantasies doesn't often make your list of possibilities. She pulls away before I am ready, but that's not a surprise - I'm not sure if there is an end to how loong I want to kiss her. She rests her forehead against mine, gasping softly. "You. Be. Careful. Do you hear me?" she whispers, fighting to keep tears out of her voice. "You lean on Skinner all you need to, and don't you dare take any chances you don't absolutely have to take." I have no words for her, no response. I'm just in awe at what she's giving me. She looks up into my face, and I can see a struggle there of epic proportions. She looks away and presses her lips together. "I don't know if I can do this," she says finally. I remember I can talk. "Do what?" "Leave," she says in anguish. "I mean, never *mind* that all I don't know how to *not* work. In the last seven years, I've completely forgotten how to have a life..." she smiles ruefully at herself. "But now I'm stranding you all by yourself on this, with only six months actual experience. How can I do that to *anyone*, much less..." Her eyes roam my face with an affection that makes me ache. "...you." I'm overwhelmed. Adrenaline runs through me like I'm about to give a speech in my underwear. I want very much to kiss her again. I don't. I let her be in charge. "Dana." I can hardly believe that I'm about to urge her to go. "You can't keep workin' with your due date so near. It's not an option. Even if your doctor *would* let you, I can think of three computer geeks and one assistant director who'd tan your hide for even considerin' it." I brush her cheek with my fingers, and watch her relax. My whole body tingles. "And don't even get me started about how I'd feel about it." She looks at me, eyebrow arched. "*Not* that I wouldn't love your company," I grin. But that's not her problem. She runs her palms down my lapels. I shiver. "I just couldn't stand it if anything happened to you because I left you alone." Her eyes are filling up. I make it my late New Year's Resolution to cause fewer tears in her life, from now on. "I've been in your position. I've been *you*. I don't know how I would have coped back then without..." She doesn't say his name. She finishes creatively. "...without all the guidance I had. How on Earth can we all expect you to deal with this without the help of someone who's been there?" We're silent for a moment, till I know what to say. "Tell you what," I offer. "We'll just consider me your eyes and ears, like back in Boston. The *second* I find myself in over my head - heck, even up to my lower lip - my job is to call you and get my marching orders. Whatever you say, goes." She's smiling faintly. I challenge myself to raise that smile to a full-fledged beam. "You'll still have my back," I promise. "And believe me, whatever you need, I'll have yours. Heartburn medicine, foot rubs, midnight runs for sardines and ice cream..." There it is. Her face breaks out into a grin that melts me. She looks up, chuckling wryly. "You watch too much 'I Love Lucy'..." My own smile takes up half my face. "Nick at Night helps me sleep." She sighs. I can tell she's getting ready to go. I can't help wishing that she wasn't. I push it to the back of my mind. "You go worry about yourself for a change," I say. She nods obediently. Then she lingers just a moment more. Before I have time to second guess myself, I take the opportunity I'm given. I lean and kiss her again, softly. I pull away reluctantly and our faces linger close together, eyes half-closed. She inhales deeply, as if gathering courage. "If I catch you doing anything stupid, I'll kick your ass." My heart grows three sizes in my chest. I adore this woman. "Yes, ma'am." She collects herself, then turns and walks out the door. I watch her stride down the hall. She turns back once to look at me. I try and reassure her with my eyes. She warns me with hers. A few steps later she disappears around the corner. I look around me, feeling my feet more firmly on the ground. The office is still too big without her, but I can feel her presence more strongly now. She left it here with me. To guard me. I grin. To potentially kick my ass. I feel invincible. It's all I need. -----------------------