Title: Not Worth the Wait Author: Agent X Summary: post-ep for Existence Keywords: Scully, Mulder, someone else for Scully, a little MSR Spoilers: Season 8. Especially Existence Rating: PG-13 Disclaimer: The wonderful characters in this story are the property of the genius Chris Carter, 1013 and Fox Archive: anywhere you like, just let me know please Feedback: Yes please, good or bad, to aussie_xphile25@yahoo.com.au Dedication: This story is entirely dedicated to the wonderful Robert Patrick, who has inspired me to write this by bringing the character of John Doggett to life! _ Also to my fellow WIB and the crew of the Doggship - love ya guys!! *Completely un-beta-d. Excuse the many typos* * * * Not Worth the Wait *He's back. That's all that matters now. That and our little miracle.* That's what she should be thinking. She knew she should be happy, but she wasn't. This was the moment she had been hoping would happen for *seven* years. She was standing in the middle or her apartment, baby William safely in her arms, kissing the father of her baby, kissing Mulder. This is how life should be. They were destined to be togetherÉ Then why wasn't she happy? She had loved Mulder for years, but he had never returned her love. Not like *that* anyway. They had been the best of friends, but Mulder had been scared to take it any further for fear of ruining what they already had. She had gotten tired of waitingÉ tired of wanting something that was just out of reach. Snapping back to reality, she pushed Mulder back and turned away. She could still feel his lips on her mouthÉ his tongue on hersÉ "Scully? What's wrong?" She didn't speak for a moment. Glancing out the window she thought she saw a silver truck disappearing down the street. No, it couldn't have been himÉ "Scully?" Mulder said again. She felt like crying but she almost laughed instead. She turned around to face him. "*That* s what's wrong, *Mulder*!" she said. He looked confused. "I don't understand." She sighed, exasperated. "Look at us! We have a child, a baby, a son. We have been the best of friends for over seven years. Now, maybe we're going to be more than that. We just kissed, for God's sake-" Mulder still didn't understand. "And your point is?" he asked. "MY NAME IS NOT SCULLY!!" she screamed at him. He stared at her wordlessly for a moment, then came over and touched her arm. "Scully, I-" "DANA!" she screamed. Her voice woke little William and he started to cry. Scully took him into her bedroom, put him to sleep and returned to the lounge. Mulder was waiting. "Look, Sc- Dana," he said. "I don't understand where this is all coming from. I don't understand why you're so upset." Scully took a shaky breath and sat down on the couch. "Fox," she said, noting his look of annoyance at the mention of his first name. "I am going to ask you a question and I want you to answer truthfully. Do you love me?" He hesitated. She grabbed his hands. "Do you *love* me?" she asked again, almost desperately. "IÉ IÉ" he stuttered. "I don't knowÉ" She let go of his hands, let out a sigh and turned away from him. He saw how upset she was and realised what he had said. "No! Scully! I didn't mean it to sound like that." He knelt on the floor in front of her. "Scully, you're my best friend. As far as I know, you're probably my *only* friend. Of course I love youÉ" "But?" she prompted him. "Since all this has happened over the last few months, since I went missing, things have changed. I feel like I'm reading a book and I've missed out a very important chapter. I don't know what's going on anymore. I *do* love you and I want nothing more than for you to be happy, but I just don't know how I fit into your life anymoreÉ" She put her hands on his shoulders. "Mulder! You are my baby's *father*! How could you *not* fit in?" He sighed, got up and turned away from her. "I just need some time, okay? To get my life sorted out." Scully was sick and tired of waiting. "No. That's not okay, Mulder. I've been waiting for you for *seven damn years* and I'm damned if I'm going to wait any longer. I need to know *now*." Again he hesitated. That alone was enough to make up her mind for her. She didn't need him complicating her life. She got up from the couch and headed for the bedroom. She pulled on a jacket, grabbed the baby bag and scooped William up in her arms. As she stepped out of her apartment, she hoped he might try to stop her, to reason with her. He didn't. Sighing, she loaded the baby into the car and headed for the other side of town. Thoughts of the conversation drifted through her head. *Scully?* *MY NAME IS NOT SCULLY* *I don't understand* *Do you love me?* *IÉ IÉ. I don't know* God, saying no would have been better than that, she thought. How could he not know how he felt after all these years? She'd given him everythingÉ her lifeÉ her healthÉ her love. Couldn't he give her one *tiny* thing in return: his heart? Obviously not. Despite her hopes and dreams that they could be together, somehow, deep down, she always knew it would never happen. His heart belonged to the X- Files and it always would. Making up her mind to put the past behind her, she started looking for the right exit off the highway. She deserved better than Mulder. She deserved someone who would love her, watch out for her and *always* be there for her and her son. She knew just where to go. Minutes later she took the highway exit to Falls Church. ~ the end ~ Author's note: Oh how I wish Existence finished like thisÉ