Title: Taking You Home (Sequel to "Won't Fear Love" and "Something Rational") Author: agent myers Rating: R Keywords: DSR, Angst Summary: "...I can't forgive him. I can't forgive him for never saying what I needed to hear." Spoilers: Within, Without, Season 8 generally Disclaimer: They're not mine. Duh. Feedback: I live for it. Archive: Gossamer, XFMU, yes. All others please ask, I'm sure I'll say yes! Author's Notes: The long-awaited (shyeah) sequel to "Something Rational" and "Won't Fear Love" Die-hard MSR-ers will not like this one. But don't even think about flaming me. IT'S IN THE HEADER. I just hope it doesn't suck. Recommended Listening: "Everything" By Lifehouse, "Crash" By the Dave Matthews Band *** Taking You Home by agent myers *** I followed my partner home from work yesterday. I don't know why. Perhaps it was concern. Perhaps it was just curiosity. I expected to follow her to her apartment building and drive away. Instead, I found myself sitting in front of Mulder's apartment building. It broke my heart, a feeling I was accustomed to knowing, but never expressing. The tender kiss we'd shared the night before brought me hope, but seeing her walk into the building that her missing partner lived in had shot it to hell. I felt guilty for thinking this way. Did I hope that he was dead? Or was just glad he wasn't here? It didn't really matter. She loved him. I shook my head and pressed the gas pedal down as far as it would go. She may have heard the squealing tires, but I doubt she found it worthy even of a glance. She was with Mulder. She was with the man she loved. I resisted the urge to drink myself into oblivion, and tried to get some house chores done. I did the laundry, put away the dishes... ...and then I decided to drink myself into oblivion. When I returned from the liquor store, I plopped down on the couch with my bottle of whiskey and began drinking it slowly, straight out of the bottle. It burned down my throat. I leaned back against the couch and put my feet up. Forget about her. She's your partner. And she's pregnant with another man's child. I clenched my jaw and gritted my teeth. I was angry at myself. I'd allowed myself to step over the line with Scully, and for what? We had kissed, and she had smiled at me, but had politely thrown me out afterwards. I guess I was too caught up in my own emotions to realize that if she wanted me, she would have asked me to stay. I toasted my own ineptness with a giant gulp of whisky. I noticed there was a message on my answering machine. I pressed the button. A metallic voice greeted me. "You. have. two. messages. First. Message." The message began, but all I heard was dead air for a moment, and then a click. "Next. Message." "Uh, Agent Doggett, it's Scully." I sat up. "I...uh...I wanted to know if you'd like to get together tonight. I'm...I sure you've got plans, so maybe some other time. But if you get this message, give me a call...and we can..." A long pause. And a sigh. "Just call me." And she hung up. I stared at the answering machine. I picked up the receiver with an almost shaky hand. I dialed the number that I only recently memorized. "Hello?" "Agent Scully...it's Agent Doggett." "Hi..." She said, her voice breaking. I sat down on the couch. "I, uh...I don't have any plans tonight. What did you have in mind?" There was a pause on the other end of the line. I felt almost foolish for calling her, even though she had called me first. I waited desperately for her to answer me. "Just, maybe, dinner or something...just to get out?" "That sounds fine." "Should I pick you up?" "No...no, Scully. I'll pick you up." "Okay. Give me an hour?" "Sure." "Okay...see you then...John." And she hung up. I pulled the receiver away from my ear and stared at it. The fact that she had called me 'John' had not escaped my attention. It wasn't really the use of my first name, but more so in the way that she had said it. I returned the phone to the cradle and ran up the stairs to get ready. *** I knocked three times. I heard her come to the door and lean against the door to look out the peephole. She opened the door and smiled. It was a nervous smile, but she was glad to see me. I tried not to stare at her. She was wearing a modest sundress, but it did more to display her pregnant body rather than hide it. Her stomach bulged in a very lovely, feminine way, accented by her very pregnant breasts. I quietly caught my breath as she welcomed me in the door. I had always appreciated the fresh, femininity of a pregnant woman...there was nothing more beautiful. But I'd never seen anything as lovely - or sexy - as Dana Scully. "So..." She said, clasping her hands together. "Where are we headed?" "That's totally up to you, Scully." I said, and then wondered if I should have called her Dana. She smiled. "There's a great vegetarian restaurant that I've been wanting to try. But I highly doubt that you'd enjoy a meal with no meat." I'd probably sooner attack a living cow than to actually WILLINGLY eat vegetarian, but I wasn't going to tell her that. "Sounds great." I said enthusiastically. She grabbed a small handbag and opened the door. We walked to the car silently. When it became awkward, I turned on the radio and found something upbeat and non-romantic. "This okay?" I asked her. She nodded. I couldn't help but glance in the direction of her chest after she had looked away. I shook my head and silently cursed myself for being so...male. We arrived at the restaurant, and were shown to a quiet table in the corner. After we had ordered our drinks, I was forced to make conversation. We talked idly about work, and then about the baby. I found great comfort in this part of the conversation because I had much to say. I was always involved with my wife's pregnancy, always involved as a father. I wouldn't have had it any other way. And now, it afforded me endless conversation with Scully, and she was very interested in what I had to say. When our food came, I had to force myself to eat it. My sautéed vegetables might as well have been sautéed grass with a dash of pepper. I forced it down, and vowed I would make myself a huge steak when I got home. Scully seemed to thoroughly enjoy her veggie pasta, so I said nothing. When the meal was finished, and the baby conversation had exhausted itself, I found myself wondering one thing. Was this a date? Was I on a date with Dana Scully, my partner? I took a drink of my water and decided to broach the subject. "Scully." "Hmm..." "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't' a little confused." She put down her fork and looked me straight in the eye. "You're confused." She repeated. "Yeah...about yesterday...at your apartment." At once my eyes were transfixed on the gold cross around her neck. I stared at it, until she looked down at her plate, examining it carefully. "So, what was that?" I asked her, straightforward. No beating around the bush here. "You mean the kiss." She said, pursing her lips together, like I'd seen her do a million times. My mind rewound as she spoke, the word 'kiss' floated off of her lips. Yes, the kiss. Was there some other life-changing event that occurred at your apartment yesterday, Scully? I remembered it...I would never forget it. It would replay like an old black and white forever in my head. I nodded. She hesitated a long moment before answering me. "I can't really understand it, either, John." I stared at her. I was beginning to wonder if this was a huge mistake. "Then tell me what I'm supposed to do about it, Scully. DANA." I added. She swallowed and continued to look at me, pursing her lips once again. Her fingers drummed against the linen tablecloth once. "Whatever you want, John." She said, but she was looking down. It wasn't meant as a sexual comment, much to my despair. I sighed and rubbed my temple. Then a smile came to my lips. "You're playing games with me." "I'm not trying to." "Then...tell me what's going on here." I stared at her, and she stared back at me. We held each other's gaze for a few seconds before she looked away. She was troubled...no doubt about it. She spoke very slowly. "I don't know...I don't know what I want, John. But I do know that...what happened yesterday was not a mistake." Her mouth remained opened, as though she would speak again, but then closed. She looked down again. Must be something damned interesting about that tablecloth. "Are you ready?" Her head shot up. "Ready?" "To leave." "It's only nine o'clock." She said, a small smirk overtaking her mouth. "Seems a little early to be going home." She was playing games again, I thought. "Don't worry, I'm not taking you back to your place." The smirk disappeared and she looked at me. "I'm taking to back to my house. We need to talk." *** The drive back my house was short and uneventful. Scully barely said a word...she did make the comment that she didn't care for the vegetarian restaurant, and probably wouldn't ever go there again. This amused me, but I had many other things on my mind. Like what would happen when I was finally alone with Scully. We pulled into the driveway, and I helped her out of the car quickly. Once inside, I offered a drink, and we sat together on my couch, each waiting for the other to speak. Scully studied her glass. "What do you want from me, Scully?" I asked her quietly. She looked up after a long moment, and tears were in her eyes. "Stability." "Stability." I repeated. She nodded. "You're nothing like him." She didn't have to say his name. I knew she was talking about Mulder. "You say that you and Mulder were not involved. Is that, or is that not true?" Scully stared at me. Her eyes seemed lost, her face a mix of emotion. "I...don't...know..." And she buried her face in her hands. "All I know is that he's gone. And you're here. And you're not afraid of me the way he was!" She sobbed. I moved a bit closer to her. I could smell her perfume. "Afraid of you?" Her head shot up. Tears stained her face and smeared her eyeliner a little. "In all the seven years Mulder and I worked together, he never said that he loved me! He never said that he would like to spend the rest of his life with me. He...he never even said he'd like to sleep with me! He was afraid of all the possibilities. And now he's gone. And I can't forgive him. I can't forgive him for never saying what I needed to hear." My heart ached to see her cry, to feel her pain of rejection that lasted more than seven years. But I had to know the truth. "So I am a back-up, then. A replacement." She lifted her head up to look at me again. "No. You're the man I should have fell in love with." The world around us seemed to disappear. I could only focus on her eyes, staring deep into mine. Her words, so powerful, hit my chest like a thousand bricks. My breath caught, my lungs betrayed me. My heart crashed against my chest with a fury that I'd never known. "What do you want?" I asked her simply. She covered her mouth with her hands. "If he comes back, what do I tell him..." I grabbed her hands. "What do you want, Scully! Forget about Mulder, forget about me, forget about the fuckin' FBI! What do you want for YOU, RIGHT NOW!?" She stared at me, her expression reflecting horror. She was afraid of what she wanted. She was afraid to say it. She was afraid to get close to me. And she was afraid of Mulder, too. "I want you, John." She said quietly, almost a whimper. An admission that had almost killed her. I released her. "Not because I need a replacement...because I need something that I've never had. Something that Mulder could never give." I looked at her. Breath in, breath out. "I can't...can't go another year of my life without someone to tell me that they love me..." She said. I reached for her, and gathered her into my arms. I smoothed her hair, I let her cry. "You don't have to be strong all the time, Scully." I said, rocking gently with her. She pulled her head away from mine, and looked me straight in the eye. Locked in embrace, her lips met mine. Her kiss was full of need. Urgent hands began to roam all over my body, and her mouth began to trail downward...my chin...my neck. I released a quiet gasp. I was lightheaded from the start, as all that was Dana Scully attacked my senses. My hands traveled down her body on their own volition. I did nothing to stop them. Quiet cries came from her lips when I wasn't kissing them, and feverishly sought out my tongue when I was. Is this really happening? I pulled away from her for a moment. Her eyes were half-closed, her mouth open. Her lips were blushed from the attention they received. Her breath was hot and labored. The sight of her arousal made mine all the more strong. "Don't stop this, John. Please." She whispered, as she pulled me into another kiss. I pulled her towards me. I sensed her need, and I would give her what she wanted. I would give her everything she ever asked of me. ~F~ Read all of my other fan fiction at www.agentmyersexperience.digitalbomb.com The final part in this story will be called "End The Struggle".......um, I think.